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Wackjöb was speechless. He sat up, walked over to the Cosmoscope, and sat there in silence for what seemed like an hour.
    â€œUm…excuse me, Dr. Wackjöb,” Vivian said. “Aren’t you going to tell us what you think of the video?”
    â€œIt’s…it’s…” Dr. Wackjöb stuttered. “Utterly amazing. It’s the concrete proof I have been searching years for.”
    â€œThen why do you seem so upset?” Mumps asked.
    â€œI’m not upset. I’m just stunned because four American children found the proof before me, a highly educated scientist.”
    â€œWho cares who found it,” I said. “The question is what are we going to do about it?”
    â€œWe have another one,” TJ said.
    â€œAnother what?” Dr.Wackjöb asked.
    â€œLast night’s video of Schnoz sleeping.”
    â€œThen let’s see if our vast-nosed friend had another alien abduction.”
    When Dr. Wackjöb said the words “alien abduction,” a cold shiver went up my nose. I had never thought of my experience in those terms before. But that was my reality. I was the unconscious victim of a human nose experiment conducted by aliens from outer space.
    The first six hours of the video were all the same—me sleeping—so Dr. Wackjöb fast-forwarded until we saw the first wisps of a shadow form above my bed. It took all of my courage to keep watching. I mean, who knew what the aliens were going to shove up nose next?
    â€œThis is the same thing that happened the night before,” Vivian said.
    Dr. Wackjöb pressed a finger to his lips, indicating for everyone to be quiet. This time, the shadow formed into two aliens. They were identical with tiny slits for noses and mouths and huge eyes.The hoses they used for my nose were twice as large as they’d been the first night.When the aliens shoved them inside my nostrils, I flailed so much that a third alien materialized from the dark cloud and held me down.
    Then the snoring happened: loud, rumbling snorts that shook the room and made my dresser topple over. A small crack fissured its way up my wall. The aliens turned and looked at each other. Their once dark, soulless eyes now beamed with a fluorescent green light.
    I heard a loud thump directly behind me. Mumps had passed out again.
    â€œThey’re communicating with each other,” Jimmy said.
    â€œI bet they’re talking about how big Schnoz’s nose is,” TJ said. “Or about all his boogers.”
    â€œThey’re Apneans,” Dr.Wackjöb muttered.
    â€œThat’s exactly what I thought too,” Vivian said. “Schnoz has a horrible case of sleep apnea.”
    Dr. Wackjöb shook his head. “I said Apneans , not apnea. Follow me to the Cosmoscope.”
    Dr. Wackjöb turned on a switch, played with some knobs, and the farthest corners of the universe, looking as if they were only inches away from our faces, popped up on a giant screen.The celestial sky twinkled like someone had spilled a jar of silver glitter onto black construction paper.
    A series of oohs and ahhs went up from Vivian and the Not-Right Brothers. Dr. Wackjöb positioned the mouse on his computer and a flash of light in the middle of deep space appeared on the screen.
    â€œIs that a star?” TJ asked.
    â€œNo,” Dr.Wackjöb replied. “It’s a planet, proof that other life-forms exist in the universe. I have named it Apnea.”
    â€œWhy Apnea?” I wondered out loud.
    â€œApnea comes from the Greek, meaning to breathe ,” Dr. Wackjöb explained. “The study of this planet is my living breath. It is all I live for. That is why I have named the planet Apnea.Watch as I zoom in closer.”
    The screen grew fuzzy for a moment and then became as clear as a green booger on a white tissue. Mountain ranges, lakes, rivers, buildings, and UFOs flying through the planet’s airspace came into