week and you’ll see me when I’m bloated and feeling fat. I won’t be able to keep anything from you and I’m worried you won’t like me when I’m…not at my best.”
“All right, Sarah. Come here.” Phillip took her hand and led her to the couch. Using her name instead of the endearment “my slave” had become his signal to her he wanted to talk to her as an equal. When he indicated that she should sit next to him rather than kneel on the floor, she knew she was right.
She tucked a leg up underneath her and sat facing him, her hands in his. He reached up, tucking a lock of her hair back behind her ear, running his hand down along her cheek to cup her face and she couldn’t resist turning to place a kiss in the palm of his hand. He didn’t begin until they held hands again.
“Sarah, when you were married to Tom, did he see you in all sorts of moods? Good ones and bad ones?”
“Yes. But that was different.”
“How?”
Sarah tried to explain. “Tom and I had a more…well, equal relationship. We made all our decisions together, discussed plans for our future together, even decorated our apartment and then our house together.” She shrugged and ducked her head as she always did when talking about sex out loud. “As far as the bedroom, well, we were young and both of us virgins. Neither one of us really knew what we were doing, so mostly we just acted from instinct and without a lot of imagination.”
“And you think that’s going to be different between us?”
“It has to be!” Sarah frowned. “I mean, I’m going to be your slave!”
“My sexual slave.” Phillip’s hands tightened around hers. “Sarah, you are an independent woman who has moods and thoughts and wonderful ideas all of her own. I am not out to squash that.” He paused to look at her with a warning in his eyes. “And I don’t want you squashing that either.”
“You’re my Master, though. When I come here on the weekends, I submit to you. Completely. Even to making you breakfast and sitting at your feet while you eat first.” She remembered how angry that had made her the first time he’d asked. But then she’d understood the reasoning behind it and hoped to be able to serve him like that again every once in a while.
Phillip’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, Sarah. What is it that’s really on your mind? Something tells me you’re skirting around an issue.”
She opened her mouth to deny it and gave a wry chuckle instead. Her shoulders relaxed, making her wonder when she had gotten so tense. “Yes, Sir. You got me. I am dancing around something.” She tried to explain. “I mean, what we’ve been talking about is really important too, but…” She sighed. “But, well…I want to keep my job.” There. Blurting it out wasn’t graceful but the issue was now out in the open.
Phillip looked puzzled. “Why wouldn’t you keep it?”
“Do you want me to?”
“What difference does it make if I want you to?” Phillip shook his head. “Sarah, haven’t you been listening? I love you. I want you. All of you. Your mind, your body, your spirit…everything. That means accepting you with all your good qualities and all the not-so-good ones as well. That also means accepting you with your strong independent streak. I’m not some monster who wants to beat that out of you. Your submission is a gift you give me every weekend. Once we’re married, it will be a gift you give me every moment of every day. That doesn’t mean you stop being a feeling, thinking human being!”
Sarah shook her head. “I just am not sure where the lines are. This is all so new to me.”
For answer, Phillip pulled her into his arms, his voice soft against her hair. “I know, Sarah-my-slave, I know. I’ve made mistakes in the past, mistakes I won’t repeat this time. Remember, this is a power sharing we’re trying to find our way through. We’ll find all our answers together.”
Sarah leaned back, looking into his eyes, searching for
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