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his morbid curiosity, he opened the door to the spare bedroom. Right away he saw the stroller Jaya had bought yesterday. But he also saw a play pen, still in its box. There were baby shoes and clothes on top of a dresser. When had she found time to do all of this?
    Who was he kidding? This was Jaya. She’d once put a wedding together with less than seventy-two hours notice.
    Alec couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips when he saw the list on top of the dresser. That was his Jaya. Considering how he preferred to be spontaneous, he surprisingly loved her lists. They were this beautiful insight into how her mind worked.
    Alec darted a glance at the scrap of paper, and his heart squeezed when two things jumped out. Number seventeen was: Get Alec thank you gift. Number twenty-two was: Assure Alec what a great surrogate father he’s going to be.
    Or real father .
    Snuffling from the crib brought his attention to a sleeping Alexa. She’d turned onto her stomach again and curled into a fetal position with her bottom in the air. Jaya had made him watch a crash course in daddy hood, so he knew she needed to be on her back.
    Trying to separate his emotions from the situation, he walked in and gently turned her onto her back. Alexa waved a chubby, dimpled hand in the air, and for a moment, he worried he’d woken her. But she shoved her thumb into her mouth and went back to whatever it was babies dreamed about.
    The stab of emotion and the sudden feeling of claustrophobia were too much—he had to escape.
    Holding his breath, he closed the door behind him. He didn’t breathe easy again until he was in his study, seated in front of his computer and a picture of Jaya smiling on the beach, blowing kisses at him.
    He missed the easy connection between them. It didn’t help that he worked all the time and she was so busy starting her business and consulting for him that it barely left any room for them . And now they were playing house.
    With a dry mouth, he opened the desk drawer and pulled out a picture of his parents. His birth mom and his father. In the picture, they were only a little bit younger than he and Jaya were now. They looked happy and in love.
    But you know the real picture, don’t you ?
    Despite the attentive, loving smile on his father’s face, the old man hadn’t been capable of the emotion.
    Alec’s mother had been his father’s mistress, not his girlfriend or loving wife. Dear Old Dad had been dating several women. Adele was one of them. Once Alec’s mother had notified the old man of the pregnancy, he handed her some money and vanished from their lives. He’d eventually chosen to be with Adele.
    You are not your father .
    Alec stared out his window. The fear and uncertainty made his stomach knot. There was no way that kid was his, but he couldn’t deny the family resemblance. Down to the dimple in her chin, she looked like him and his brother Max. And Max had been on an extended honeymoon with his own baby at the time of Alexa’s conception, so that ruled him out.
    No matter how Alec looked at it, he came up with the same conclusion. Or rather, he clung desperately to the sliver of hope that maybe Alexa wasn’t his.
    Maybe she could be .
    How the hell was he supposed to tell Jaya that it was possible? She hadn’t asked him once, but it was the elephant in the room that they didn’t talk about. He wanted to believe he wouldn’t have been so desperate that he’d slept with someone. After all, Jaya gave him serious tunnel vision. He’d only wanted her.
    Alec ground his teeth as he stared up at the moon. The silvery light cast an eerie shadow in his office. Why the hell couldn’t he remember what had happened? Every time he tried to piece it together, all he got was an oppressive, gray emptiness. Back then, he’d tried to bury himself in the job. It hadn’t worked. He’d often wake up from a dead sleep missing her, wishing he’d been with her. Wishing he hadn’t been such a selfish