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warrant.”
    “A warrant for what?”
    “Failure to appear in court.”
    “For what?”
    “A drug charge.”
    “But you don’t do drugs, or at least you
didn’t?”
    “Nope, I didn’t nor do I. But like I said, my
brother does. And he’s been known to use my name on occasion.”
    “He impersonated you?” I gasp.
    “Yeah, scumbag. He’d only used it for little
things before, speeding tickets, disorderly conduct, crap like
that. But that time he got busted for possession and used my
information when he was arrested. He knows my social, my driver
license number not to mention he looks just like me, he’s my
identical twin.”
    “So why didn’t you tell them it was Sean who
used your information?”
    “I couldn’t.”
    “Why?” I ask outraged. “He stole your
identity!”
    “Alana,” Ryan tenses, turning his head away
from me, “you don’t understand.”
    “Then make me understand,” I take his face
and force him to look at me.
    Ryan feels so small now, not at all that
sexual powerhouse from last night or even the sexy confident guy
who walked into Dean & DeLuca this morning.
    “Sean going to prison would have killed my
mother,” he says. “She begged me to help him.”
    “Help him how?”
    “He would have died in jail,” Ryan says
hastily.
    The gears start grinding in my head, “You did
the time for your brother?”
    Ryan puts his head against my chest and I
feel him nod, “Sean’s been in and out of trouble his whole life.
He’s emotionally unbalanced. He has anger management issues and is
manic depressive. That environment would have killed him one way or
another.”
    “So you sacrificed yourself?”
    “What other choice did I have?”
    “You could have made Sean own up.”
    Ryan huffs and drops his head back, “I was
backed into a corner, I didn’t want my mom or Sean to suffer. I
can’t change my decision. I can only regret it.”
    “Do you regret it?”
    “Every goddamn day,” he looks me in the eyes
with a tortured expression; it breaks my heart right in two. Those
years must have been agony.
    “You could have told me, Ryan. Sent me a
letter, something.”
    “I couldn’t. I didn’t want you finding me. I
couldn’t bear for you to see me like that. I’d rather have you
think I was an asshole then some convicted felon.”
    “But you weren’t.”
    “I looked like one.”
    “Ryan, do you know what the last five years
have been like for me? Wondering what happened to you?”
    “I’m sorry I did that to you Alana, it’s all
I can say.”
    “I’m sorry too,” I look away sadly, wondering
if I will ever get over this gnawing pain. Ryan puts his finger
under my chin to bring my face back to his, when something
horrifying dawns on me. “Where was Sean’s warrant issued?”
    “Asbury Park.”
    Fuck.
    Asbury, which it’s also known as, has two
sections. The eastern beach area with restaurants, shops and a
concert hall that is frequented by both tourists and locals. And
the western side, away from the ocean, which is riddled with low
income housing, dilapidated buildings, gangs and drugs.
    Asbury is also in my father’s court
district.
    “Who…who convicted you?” I swallow the lump
in my throat. There are several superior court judges who try
criminal cases.
    Ryan clams up immediately.
    “Who?” I press him.
    “Judge Remington.”
    I blanche. Of course, my father.
    This story just gets better and better.
    My head starts to pound, “Is that part of the
reason why you stayed away?”
    Ryan nods.
    Holy hell, not even the creators of Law and
Order could make this shit up.
    I turn over all of this new information in my
head. Ryan doing time for his brother, my father convicting him, me
spending the last five years wondering what I did wrong, only to
find out it wasn’t my fault at all.
    The world suddenly becomes a blur of delusion
and reality.
    There’s an unexpected shift inside me. The
plausibility I can give Ryan a second chance is suddenly real;
alarmingly