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a green oasis
nestled between towering skyscrapers. The place is absolutely
swarming with people. Luckily though, we find two free chairs, the
green fold-out looking ones the park is known for.
    We’re sitting right next to some greenery
across from the fountain. It’s actually sort of romantic.
    Ryan pulls his chair right up next to mine,
our bodies as close as they can possibly be short of him sitting on
top of me. He doesn’t say anything; he just leans forward with his
elbows on his knees looking over at me. He really is something.
    “I’m going to law school in the fall,” I tell
him, just to break the awkward silence.
    He nods knowingly. “That doesn’t surprise me
one bit. You’re the smartest girl I’ve ever met.”
    “That will be determined at the end of the
day.”
    “Based on what?”
    “Based on whether I fall for your charms or
not.”
    “Which way is the pendulum swinging?”
    “Not.”
    “See, smart,” he says and there’s a little
bit of apprehension in his tone. “What law school are you going
to?”
    “Columbia.”
    His face perks up, “The city?”
    “Yes, you look happy about that.”
    “I am. You’ll be close. Like, very close,” he
smiles.
    “And that’s really what you want? For me to
be close?”
    He leans into my face provocatively,
“Yes.”
    “You sound so sure.”
    “I am.”
    “How do I know I can trust you?”
    “You don’t. Just like I don’t know if I can
trust you. But I’m going on faith.”
    “Are you going to tell me where you’ve been
the last five years?”
    “Yes. I don’t want to keep anything from you.
It’s the first brick of me building back your trust.”
    “So spill it.”
    “Will you sit on my lap?”
    “Excuse me?”
    “Will you sit on my lap, I want to touch
you.”
    “You can hold my hand.”
    “I want to hold your body.” His eyes flash
and my insides stir.
    I hesitate for a beat before he pulls me onto
him, my legs hanging over one side. He slides his arms around my
waist locking me in, and then looks up at me. It’s an almost
vulnerable stare.
    “Okay, so you got me where you want me,
talk.”
    “This is nowhere close to where I want you,
but I’ll take it for now,” his voice calling to me like a hypnotic
melody. Ryan takes a deep breath then says, “Prison, I spent three
and a half years in prison.”
    “What?” I shift my body but he holds me
tight. “Why were you in prison?”
    “Because of my brother.”
    “Sean? Why were you in prison because of
Sean?”
    “Because he’s a drug addict piece of
shit.”
    “ Ryan. ”
    “It’s the truth. He’s always getting into
trouble. And sometimes he drags me down with him.”
    “So what, you got popped with drugs or
something?”
    “Not exactly.” His leg starts to shake. “You
know I’m not from the most desirable family. Mother’s an alcoholic,
father skipped out when I was three. Drug addict sibling.”
    “That never mattered to me.”
    “I know. That’s why it’s so important you
understand what I’m about to tell you.” He takes my hand almost as
if it’s his life line, “You know I would never lie to you.”
    “You keep telling me,” I say dryly.
    “I mean it. I also told you I love my family,
even though they’re a fucked up bunch.”
    “Yeah, well, no one’s family is perfect.”
    Except maybe Emily ’ s.
    Without even thinking I wrap one arm around
Ryan’s shoulders. He looks up at me with those indomitable blue
eyes, the same flicker of hope resurfacing from before. I don’t
want to lead him on. But God, he feels so right. “So your family’s
a fucked up bunch…?”
    “Well, that morning, you know after the
cabana? I went to grab some coffee and breakfast for us. From that
little café on the promenade you liked. I was on my way back when I
was pulled over. They said I was speeding. Maybe I was,” he rambles
nervously. “They ran my license and before I knew it the cops were
slapping hand cuffs on me for an outstanding