Read Stop Pissing Me Off What to Do When the People You Work with Drive You Crazy for Free Online Page A

difficult
    Attacking the person
    Separating the person from the behavior
    Assuming that others should act Recognizing that many clashes are like you
    “matching” problems
    Ignoring your stress level
    Counting up your own life stress events
    |  22  |

    03.
    YOur WOrKErS’ BiLL Of riGHTS
    You do know that bra-snapping is not okay,
    right?
    Doris, an HR director at a high-tech company, strolled down a well-lit hallway at work, minding her own business, thinking about the meeting of HR directors she was about to attend. Unbeknownst to her, Ed Idiot, executive vice president of operations, walked behind her. Ed’s reputation as a joker in the company preceded him. While some people found his practical jokes hysterical, most employees doubted the sanity of those at the top who had elevated someone with such a sophomoric sense of fun.
    As Ed sauntered up behind Doris, he noticed that one of the buttons running down her back was unbuttoned, right where the bra strap ran across her back. To most people, the commonsense options might include continuing to walk to the meeting and politely ignoring the open button, or discreetly telling Doris about the situation. But for reasons that will remain a mystery, Ed regressed to junior high. Yes, he did it: He snapped the bra strap!
    I wish I were making this up, but it actually did happen. I was amazed that an EVP of operations didn’t understand
    |  23  |
    stop  Pissing Me Off!
    what was and was not appropriate in the workplace. Sadly, situations such as this still are all too common.
    what’s out of Bounds
    In this chapter, we’ll address behavior that’s not just difficult or eccentric, but clearly out of bounds. While who or what you think is difficult can be a matter of your own perspective, as we discussed in Chapter 2, some people travel way over the line. Before you deal with the more subtle kinds of liars, tyrants, and boors, you really need to understand when a colleague’s behavior violates company policy, your values, or the law. (I am indebted to Rita Risser for this law/policy/value distinction, and have adapted this discussion with her permission.) If there is a legal or policy violation, you’ll have to use one of the techniques in the upcoming chapters to confront the bad actor. If that doesn’t work, proceed directly to complaints in Chapter 16. understanding legal, policy, or values violations
    When is behavior not just difficult but a violation of law, policy, or your organization’s values? It’s seems clear that harassing, retaliatory, threatening, or violent behavior is disrespectful, inappropriate, and potentially dangerous. What I’ve found, however, is that there’s confusion about what those terms mean. know your rights
    Many people seem to believe that anything that offends them, or offends someone they work with, is problem behavior.
    |  24  |
    03.   Your Workers’ Bill of Rights
    Not true. We’ve had about twenty years’ worth of confusion about that in the workplace, resulting in management paranoia, confusing conflicts, and frivolous claims and lawsuits. It helps to know your rights. One thing I know is that everyone wants to be treated with respect. However, instead of concerning yourself with who is or is not offended by certain behavior in the workplace, consider the following model: Is the behavior a violation of the law, your organization’s policy, or your organization’s stated values? Believe it or not, there are objective guidelines for what kinds of complaints fit into each of those categories. If behavior doesn’t fit in one of those categories but merely happens to be something that offends you , you must find a way to negotiate your values. There are many techniques in the following chapters that will help you do just that.
    The problem is that because of our increasingly diverse workplace, we’re seeing people come into the workplace with conflicting values. Can people with different values work