Read Stone Cradle for Free Online

begins,’ she said, ‘You lose your dignity and next thing, you’re sliding down into the mud.’
    I knew she didn’t really mean it, that wiping your face on your sleeve was the beginning of losing yourself and going mad, but I took the point all the same. It didn’t matter what happened to you, how much you were hurt by the world, you must never break down in front of others and let them see, because once you lost your dignity other people thought they owned you. They thought they could push you into a tiny wagon no bigger than a dog kennel and you had no right to mind. I’ve never forgotten that, although I know that my lunatic had probably forgotten me by the time his little wagon had turned the corner at the bottom of the lane.
    *
    When we left Werrington, that winter when Lijah was just a new babby, we headed straight off Whittlesey way. I felt bad because I knew Dei had liked the cottage in the cemetery, liked being able to cook and clean more easily for a while. Dadus had never been happy there, mind you, and was glad of an excuse to get out. There were ghosts in the ground, he said. Evil spirits.
    We took it slow, a few miles a day, as we’d not used the vardo for a while. We were as far as Prior’s Fen when Dadus stopped and said there was a problem with the back axle so we all had to get down. The wind blew down the road and Dei and me huddled round tiny Elijah. Then it began to rain, that freezing, stinging rain which feels as though someone is sticking needles in your face.Dadus told us to go and shelter beneath the oak by the crossroads for we couldn’t go further until he’d moved everything about in the vardo. The weight inside needed shifting, he said. So Dei and me hurried off down the road and the rain came down and down and by the time we got to the oak we were both soaked through and my feet were wet and slipping in their clogs.
    We huddled down against the trunk of the oak. It was rough against our backs but the rain made the earth smell warm and at least we were sheltered which was more than Dadus was bending over the vardo ’s back axle. Dei was shivering, and I felt worried for her, for I knew she was thinking how we could have all been back in the cottage. It would be dark soon, then we’d have to pull the vardo onto a verge, which is the thing most likely to get you in trouble with the gavvers.
    I said, ‘Should we go back to Eye Green, d’you think, Dei?’
    Dei said, ‘I’m not keen on the folk at Eye.’
    After a while, a farmer rode past on his horse, leather cape over his shoulders. He slowed as he passed by, looked down at us huddled beneath the tree, and spat at our feet. Then he trotted on.
    It was near dark by the time Dadus trotted up to us and still raining. ‘I’ve fixed it up enough so’s we can make it to that row of oaks,’ he said, ‘but Dei will have to walk.’
    ‘I’ll walk,’ I said.
    ‘Don’t be foolish now,’ said Dei, as she struggled to her feet.
    In the end, we all walked, all but Lijah of course, who lay swaddled in a basket inside the vardo, and as I put him in I thought how wonderful to be a little babby and to be wrapped up warm all the time and have nothing to think of. Dadus led the horse, which was starting to shiver, and Dei and I guided the vardo by pushing either side, but it was all we could do to get it round the corner and in the dark we could hardly see the lay-by and we were all soaked to the bone. Dei and I went in first and lit the lantern and took our wet things off and stowed them, then hung the curtain for Dadus. Hewasn’t speaking when he finally came in, he was that soaked and cold. And we were all hungry and there was nothing but Dei gave me a last bit of bread and said a nursing girl had to have something inside her. And I must say as Lijah woke and cried to be fed I felt right sorry for myself, for I felt as though everything was wrong but I didn’t know yet how much wronger it was going to be.
    We were low on oil, so we