Waurrgh.
Han: Actually, I rescued Chewie here, too. I never realized what a rescuing kind of guy I am. You talk long enough you start seeing things in a different light. Sight being relative at this point.
Yeah, I was actually in the Imperial starfleet before I turned to my alternative lifestyle. Me, a big career man.
The Imperials didn’t care about Wookiee culture. Actually, they didn’t care about much of anything except controlling the galaxy. But you probably know that by now. Anyway, Wookiees were a species enslaved under Imperial law. Can you believe that? There’s a lot of slavery in the galaxy that people don’t know about or choose to ignore. It’s not just in the history books. It’s happening right now. I tell you, people just don’t know how to leave each other alone.
It can make you crazy watching the rotten stuff one species does to another. One day this slaver was particularly hard on one Wookiee, treating him so badly I couldn’t stand by and watch. I’d heard the phrase, “It’s none of your business,” one too many times, so I took action.
My good deed was rewarded. I was court-martialed and booted from the majestic Imperial Navy. But here’s the catch.
Chewbacca here was that Wookiee. And my intervention in his life, my making him my business, had established his “life debt” to me. Some Wookiee custom, that. He was ready to follow me anywhere, and he did. At first it annoyed the Corellian rats out of me that I couldn’t ditch the furry beast.
Chewbacca: Bwaaark!?
Han: Easy, pal, you know that’s how it was in the beginning. But it didn’t take long for me to get to like having Chewie around. I mean, he was saving my life repeatedly once my new trade took off. Plus, he’s good company if you understand the peculiarities of Wookiee talk. I sound pretty stupid trying to speak Wookiee, but I understand it well enough. Now we’re friends. I don’t like to think that a “life debt” is what keeps us partners anymore. It isn’t, is it, Chewie?
Chewbacca: Naarghh.
Han: Thanks, buddy.
DATA PAD ENTRY 10
Han: Where was I? The garbage dump. Great place to return to. Yeah, the garbage compactor was putting the squeeze on us. Luke was trying to rouse Threepio on the comlink with no success. Finally I wanted to hear Threepio’s voice and where was he? Anyway, we were pushing on the walls and using puny metal beams as braces like we had half a chance of stopping that giant machine. It was not a feel-good situation.
Suddenly, Threepio came squawking over the comlink and Luke shouted like a maniac to stop the compressors. We were a happy group there for a minute once Artoo stopped the walls from moving in on us. We were inches from a skinny death. A close call—again.
Leia used our brief celebration as an excuse to throw her arms around me. What could I do but let her? Ha! I told you romance was blooming in the garbage dump.
Too bad we didn’t have more time to enjoy being alive before worrying about being killed again.
That’s about when the princess really started working my nerves. She put aside our moment of bonding in a hot second. She told me to do as she said. I set her straight. I told her I only took orders from one person, me! She said it was a wonder I was still alive! Can you believe this woman? Remember I told you, Sai’da, that I don’t like taking orders from women? Well, especially that woman.
Facing Jabba the Hutt without any money was sounding a lot better than sticking around Her Worshipfulness for some huge reward. Not that I had any choice at that point. Oh, they’d suckered me into their little scheme all right. So deep that the only way out was to save all of us.
Ahhh, nuts. That’s beside the point.
What was the point, anyway? Oh, great escape number 22, but who’s counting? So, Luke and I might have had a hard time maneuvering in those Imperial get-ups, but it sure didn’t stop those troopers. They were on us the minute we headed for the ship.