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waiting area. After a couple of minutes, which seemed like hours, a
doctor came into the room and gave the orderlies the okay to leave. He took a
deep breath and asked Shane to please sit. He really hated this part of his
job.
    “Mr. Carson, I’m sorry to tell you this, but both
your wife and son were killed on impact in the accident.”
    Shane stared at him in disbelief and confusion.
“There has to be some kind of mistake, doc!” The doctor looked down at the
floor and shook his head, “Your little girl has extensive head injuries, and
she has a ruptured spleen. She’s in surgery right now having her spleen
removed, and we are trying to assess the extent of her head
injuries. I’m sorry sir, but she’s in pretty bad shape, and I can’t say what her
chances of survival are. We’ll have to assess her condition through the night,
and I’m hopeful her vital signs will improve.”
    The doctor could tell that this was all too much for
Shane. “When you’re ready, the nurse will let you know where to go so you can
see your wife and son. I’m so sorry for your loss,” he said as he quietly
stepped out of the room. The doctor nodded to the nurse on his way out, asking
her to keep an eye on Shane and to call him if necessary.
    Shane barely made it over to a sink before getting
sick. As he finished, he slowly reached for a paper towel to wipe his mouth.
There he stayed for sometime with his head down and eyes closed, struggling
just to stand.
    Still in denial, he balled up his fist and clinched
his jaw, then begging, prayed, “God, please let me wake up to find that this is
all just some kind of terrible nightmare! This can’t be happening, dammit!”
    When he finally looked up at
his reflection in the mirror, a strange numbness overwhelmed him. Keeping one
hand on the wall for support, he eased his way over to a seat in the corner of
the room. Crumbling down into the chair, he sat motionless, staring into space,
soon drifting uncontrollably into a total shutdown of emotions. The next thing
he remembered hearing was much later when a nurse came in. “Mr. Carson�—�sir�—�Tina
is in recovery, you can go see her now.”
    He stiffly stood and followed the nurse down the
hall. He walked into the room to see his little Tina lying in the bed with her
head completely wrapped and tubes protruding from her mouth. His eyes drifted
to a machine that was beeping and pumping. His baby girl was on life support.
The room started spinning as the beeping sound became an intense ringing in his
ears. He collapsed before he made it to her side. He awoke on the floor with a
woman leaning over him.
    The seasoned ICU nurse, an older lady, had seen more
than her share of tragedy, “Come on, Mr. Carson, I know this is terribly
difficult,” she said softly, “but you need to try to pull yourself together for
Tina’s sake. Okay?” As he struggled to focus on her face he finally came to his
senses. He nodded and slowly stood with some assistance.
    He couldn’t believe how cold Tina’s small hand felt�—�how
lifeless. He gently squeezed, trying desperately to make her squeeze back.
“Tina, Tina, its Daddy. Wake up for me, baby. Okay?” It was then that his
emotions finally came to a head, and the tears rained down his face like a
blinding summer storm.
    ***
    The next few days slowly crept by and Shane never left her bedside.
Tina was tough and held on longer than the doctors thought she would. But she
never regained consciousness, and at 3:25 on the afternoon of the third day she
passed away with Shane at her side, tightly holding her hand. He leaned over,
his face wet with tears, gently kissed her on the forehead and whispered in her
ear, “Tina, it’s okay, you can go now. Mommy and Jacob are waiting for you. I
love you. Tell Mom and Jacob I love them, too.”
    Soon after his last words to Tina, he withdrew into
another emotional shutdown. The doctor explained to a worried Abby that the
mind was well known to protect a