proportion to its incidence in the society. This
frequency, we feel, serves an educational function, especially if we
keep in mind that children are listening every time these tales are
told. In none of the tales is polygyny presented in a good light.
More than any other institution or practice, it represents the power
of men over women, setting females in competition for the affections
of the male. In the tales, as in life, it is disruptive of family
unity and harmony; the only case of cooperation occurs when the wives
unite against the introduction of yet another wife into the family
(Tale 30). The institution is abhorrent to women and denigrated in
the culture. A proverb says, "A household with one wife is a
source of pride, one with two is a laughingstock, and one with three
- uncover yourself and defecate!" (bet wahade faxra, bet tinten
suxra, bet talate - sammir w-ixra). Fights between (or among)
co-wives will, more often than not, spill out into the surrounding
community, thereby causing shame and embarrassment and violating one
of the most cherished of family values, that of keeping its secrets
mastura, or to itself (literally, "hidden," "behind a
screen").
In a
polygynous situation the stage is set for conflict the moment a man
decides to marry his second wife (Tales 20, 30). If he has children
by his first wife, they will raise strong objections out of respect
for their mother and in defense of their inheritance. The struggle
between the co-wives continues throughout the formation and growth of
the family, down to - and sometimes as a direct cause of - the
family's ultimate breakup. If the age difference between the co -
wives is extreme, the older may save face and retain her self-respect
by sponsoring the younger one, guiding her as a mother would.
Publicly she might say she does not need sex, that she now has sons
to look after her. If, however, the age gap is not so great, struggle
is inevitable. As we see frequently in the tales, the women fight and
conspire against one another, each trying to win the affection of her
husband in different ways. They compete in all things, especially in
producing male children. The one with more sons increases her
prestige in the family and her husband's affection for her. (Note the
title of Tale 3: "Precious One and Worn-out One.") If both
have children, the conflict is transmitted to the offspring (Tales 5,
6). Each woman with her children forms a subunit within the family;
the mothers socialize their children to hate the other group, and
each woman uses her own children to manipulate the father and thereby
gain advantage for them and for her (Tales 5, 28). The husband
himself may stoke the fire of conflict between his wives and their
respective offspring, too, by showing preference for one set over the
other.
Nevertheless,
polygyny serves a useful function in the society. From the
perspective of a social system that perpetuates itself through the
patriarchal extended family (and leaving economic considerations
aside), the purpose of marriage is to produce offspring, especially
sons. A childless marriage, then, contradicts its very reason for
being. Under these circumstances, polygyny enables a man to combine
his personal desire to keep his first wife, whom he may love, with
his duty to the family to produce children. It can best be understood
in relation to the cultural view of marriage as sutra (protection)
for the woman; it is economically and socially more advantageous for
a woman to be married than divorced (though cases where divorce has
been beneficial to the woman are not unknown), even if that means
putting up with a co-wife. Polygyny is not practiced by Christian
Palestinians, and for Muslims it is regulated entirely by Islamic law
(saria), which restricts to four the number of wives a man may have
and defines his duties and obligations to them, fair and equal
treatment being of foremost importance.
Also
helpful to the understanding of polygyny is the feature of