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ground and used his chest to gain traction.
    “Goddamn dog! What the hell, Alyx?”
    “ No, what the hell , Todd? What were you thinking?” It didn’t matter what his answer was because I didn’t care. He didn’t get it. None of them did. They couldn’t feel the flames startle in response to the beer cans or Jake’s brilliant arc of pee. Even though the trees were still, their whispered discord sifted through the leaves. The earth felt it. I felt it.
    I don ’t know. Maybe it was me who didn’t understand.
     
    ~ ~ ~
     
    I finally came to a conclusion. It doesn’t matter what face we show the world. If it’s not who we really are, our true, authentic self will eventually break through. It may take awhile, but it’ll happen.
    The reflection in my mirror was beginning to look less like me and more like my mother. My eyes had lost the superficial animation and emanated their own glow; the blue was bluer and the shine was brighter.
    W hat held me back all those years was that, even though I knew I was a light worker, I saw what my mother went through. The spiritual, mystical, healing arts woman that she was actually scared people. They marked her as “woo-woo.” I won’t lie. After moving to Sandpoint, I worried about what the others would say about me if they found out I practiced with Mom. I wanted to forget everything she taught me, every spell and ritual she showed me. But deep down I knew it’d be impossible to deny it. By chasing after a life that was never mine, I thought I could run from what I was destined to live – a path I was meant to follow.
    I plopped down on my bed.
    “ What am I doing?” I whispered.
    I shuffled the oracle cards, but nothing felt right. The cards weren’t talking to me. I had questions and I wanted answers, or rather confirmation of what I already knew. After dealing with everyone’s stupidity at the shack, I needed a road map to take me far away from them.
    Placing the cards back in their pouch and grabbing the nail polish from my night stand, I settled back against the headboard. I was ready for a change.
    Short strokes of the brush coated my fingernails with inky black color. For some, black meant darkness, depression, absence of light. For me, it represented shadows and invisibility. It meant space, as in the universe, space that needed to be filled.
    It was time to put away the rainbows and get serious.
     

CHAPTER SIX
     
     
    “ Are you sure you want to do this?” Mom asked, her brows arching a little.
    “ Definitely,” I said. “Besides, it’s a little late now.”
    She looked from me to the bank lady then back to me. Her chest rose and fell with a resolute sigh.
    “ Okay.” She picked up the pen and scribbled her signature along the bottom of the page next to mine, signing ownership of my Audi over to the new owner.
    The loan manager smiled and , scooping up the paperwork, promised to return with my check.
    T he intensity of Mom’s stare was too much to ignore. It seemed like she was looking for an opening into my thoughts. I raised my brows in a silent what? and returned her gaze.
    She brushed my overgrown bangs off my face. “So now what?” she asked. “Would you like a ride somewhere?”
    “ No, it’s okay. It’ll be good to walk around for a while.”
    “ Are you ever going to tell me why the sudden change?”
    My shoulders lifted and dropped, something I seemed to be doing a lot of lately.
    “ I want my friends to like me, not the stuff that I have.” I looked at the only person I knew who was completely certain of herself, entirely comfortable with her abilities, and would never let anyone sway her. Yeah, I still wanted to be strong like her. “Maybe it’s your pagan influence that’s finally sinking in.”
    O ne brow lifted very, very slightly. “You know money doesn’t define our beliefs or spirituality.”
    I nodded . We were tree-hugging, Earth-loving, high-vibrating people who drove nice cars and lived on the lake. I knew it