shirking of friendly responsibility and embarrassed by my own prudishness. This was meant to be a break for me to get over the loss of my man, not an excuse for her to find a new one. I tried to sound like I was teasing her, but I don’t think I did a particularly effective job of hiding the annoyance in my voice. As much as I enjoyed the company I’d found in the bar staff, if I had wanted to go on holiday on my own, I would have done. I had not planned on being her wingman.
"I’m sorry", she said, her face flushing as she grabbed the bag and slung it on the floor. "You know how I like to try out a new purchase straight away! After last night, if things did go, well with Kieran, I’d rather have a few extra things with me."
I raised my eyebrows at her in disbelief.
"I promise," she pleaded, "I’m really not planning anything. Please believe me, pretty please".
She was trying to use a cutesy baby voice, but she was appalling at accents at the best of times and with her visible discomfort at confrontation, it was utterly ridiculous. I struggled to keep a straight face. Spotting an opportunity to defuse the situation further, she grabbed the bag and lifted it up to her head.
"See", she exclaimed, "It’s not much bigger than my big fat head".
We both exploded into laughter.
Tracy and I found a table at a place close to the hotel, something that was midway between a restaurant and a tavern. As soon as I realised that it been seven hours since I had last eaten, my hunger pangs seemed to develop a whole new level of virulence. There was no way I was going to spend time wandering around trying to find somewhere else to eat. Tracy was equally hungry, now that the headache had gone and she felt more like her usual self. A couple of plates of breaded pork with potatoes and beets placated our hunger and gave us a much-needed boost in energy levels. We stayed there for about an hour after eating, watching the passers-by on the street and enjoying a post-dinner coffee.
I learned more about Tracy and the inner workings of her mind in that short hour, than I probably had during the months I’d actually known her. Tracy was not entirely honest in the way she presented herself to the world. Despite all her bravado and devil may care attitude, there was, deep down, someone who had been really hurt. It turned out that she had spent six months travelling around Europe a few years ago, eventually meeting a fella and coming back to the UK with him. She was in between brewery contracts and eventually got one with him as the second licensee. I’m not sure what went on exactly, but it had not ended well. Tracy had been left with a lot of debts and needed to earn more money than she could in the pubs. She got out as soon as she could, building a new life for herself and buying a small home of her own.
Her vocabulary and the tears welling up in her eyes hinted at an even darker side to the story, which she didn’t want to reveal. I let it go; it was evident though that Tracy had carefully crafted this public persona and talking about what had happened would undoubtedly make her uncomfortable. I just nodded in agreement, as if I understood what it meant to be in a complicated relationship. But what did I know? I’d only had one real relationship and I had been unceremoniously dumped at that. Perhaps I should cut her some slack, I thought, she needed a bit of fun too.
After coffee, we had a small glass of wine in a nearby bar and then headed onto O’Malley’s. As we walked, I didn’t push Tracy for any more information, nor did I comment on the big handbag she was carrying, containing her emergency overnight things. I wasn’t going to judge her for wanting to get some positive attention where she could; as long as she was safe and didn’t let anyone take advantage. I was feeling strangely protective of her now.
We arrived about an hour earlier than we had on the previous night, and the place was nowhere near as