moment to realize I’m licking my lips like a hungry animal. It’s just a date . I remind myself. It doesn’t mean I have to fuck him .
But oh, how I want to…
***
“I’m nervous,” I admit as I plop down in the office chair next to Harper’s.
“I know you’ve never worked in an office before, but I have confidence that you’ll handle everything just fine.”
I laugh. Harper is so cute. She thinks I’m nervous about working for her. “The date,” I tell her.
She rolls her eyes. “Of course. How could I think that there would be anything but Leo on your mind?”
“You’re the one who urged me to go out with him.”
She nods. “You’re right. But can you try to focus on Chatter for the next few hours, at least until I go through your training.”
“Sure,” I tell her. “No problem.
She narrows her gaze at me. Neither one of us actually believes the crap I’m spewing, but we’ll both pretend that I’m going to at least try to be a halfway decent employee.
When we take her computer out of hibernation the first thing that pops up is a website of wedding dresses.
“Research for Chatter?” I ask even though we both know she’s been looking at dresses for herself.
“Don’t say anything to Nic,” she warns. “I don’t want him to get his hopes up.”
“My lips are sealed.” I pantomime zipping my lips.
She slams on a few buttons on her keyboard until the wedding dress website is replaced with the website for her online entertainment magazine.
“One of your major responsibilities will be to monitor all of the comments we get on the Chatter website and our Facebook page, and keep up with our Twitter and Instagram accounts. You’ll be the face of Chatter across social media platforms. Do you think you can handle that?”
I nod, but my attention is already wandering to thoughts about Leo and being in his bed again. Do I have no self-control?
Apparently not when it comes to Leo.
On the plus side my booze cravings seem to be less intense. Between a sex addiction and a booze addiction I think a sex addiction is less dangerous. Before rehab booze and sex always seemed to be linked.
“Brooke!” When Harper raises her voice I realize I completely spaced out on her training session.
“Yes, of course,” I reply, even though I have no idea what the question was.
When her eyes narrow and her lips become an angry slit I know I’ve already fucked up. “You’re not paying attention, are you?”
“Why would you say that?” I fake indignity.
“Because I just asked you if you’d like to learn Chinese in your free time and you said, ‘Yes, of course.’”
“That does sound like a complete lie, doesn’t it?” I admit.
“It was a test to see if you were zoning out.”
“I’m sorry. I promise I’ll pay attention. Although it might be easier if you just give me stuff to do and I learn as I go. I’ve always been more of a hands-on kind of girl.”
And that makes me think of having my hands all over Leo and him having his hands all over me…
When Harper slams a large pile of receipts in front of me the fantasies of Leo quickly fade again.
“You asked for it. You got it. All of these receipts need to be reconciled. She turns on another computer that’s sitting in front of me. “I’ll pull up the accounting program and you can get started. And please, no more daydreaming, okay?”
“I’ll do my best,” I assure her, but I can already feel myself fading back into a wonderful fantasy about Leo in the hot tub.
***
I’ve changed my outfit five times and I’m still not thrilled with what I’m wearing for my date with Leo. My heart hasn’t stopped thumping and I’m afraid it might beat right out of my chest.
As I stand in front of the mirror every one of my flaws seems to become crystal clear. And of course I pick apart every one of them. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. Maybe it’s because it’s all I heard from my parents. They never told me they loved