did. Sheâd heard the mantra often enough: that a good officer looked after his horse first, his men second and himself last. And, sheâd noted, way after that, way,
way
down the pecking order, came his family. She tried not to mind; Seb had explained to her exactly what army life would be like, he hadnât pulled his punches, but Maddy had signed up regardless. And there
were
good bits, lots of them, but the bad bits were beyond shit.
He leaned towards her to kiss her. She could smell beer.
âHave you been to the mess?â she accused, her hazel eyes flashing with annoyance.
âA swift half with the lads. Honest, that was all. Just to unwind a bit, before I came home. Itâs all been a bit full on and we only got back about an hour ago.â
Maddy battened down her irritation that he hadnât come straight back to her. Why shouldnât he have a drink with the lads? Except when was the last time sheâd been able to go out with her friends? Not since Nate had arrived â not once.
She swallowed down a lump in her throat. God, what was the matter with her? Seb did
not
want a tearful wife as a welcome present. âDo you want something to eat?â she offered, pulling herself together.
âToo knackered at the moment. I tell you what I would like, a hot bath and a large Scotch. And then probably bed.â
He did look knackered, Maddy conceded. Even more tired than herself, and that was saying something. They were like a pair of zombies. âThe exercise was tough?â
Seb nodded. âPretty tough. The lack of sleep just grinds you down after a bit.â
As if Maddy didnât know. And sheâd been at it for three months; Seb had suffered for just two weeks. But she didnât say so. Feeding in the middle of the night â night in, night out â and coping with a baby who cried relentlessly when he was awake, wasnât half so hard as running about playing soldiers, was it? She could have done with someone to run her a bath now and again and bring her a stiff drink, but had it ever happened? She sent Seb off for his bath while she poured a large Scotch, which she took up to him. He was already stripping off his noxious clothes when she appeared in the bedroom. Beneath his combats his skin was grey with grime and fatigue.
âDonât fall asleep in the bath,â she instructed. âIâll be up in fifteen minutes to check you havenât.â
âYes, maâam,â said Seb with a grin.
âAnd clean the bath after you when you get out. Itâll be revolting.â
She had gone downstairs and motivated herself enough to make a stab at unpacking a few more bits and pieces, when she heard a knock at the door. She thanked any god listening that whoever it was had had the sense to knock and not ring the doorbell, which might have woken Nate.
âCaro! How lovely.â Which was a lie. Not that Maddy wasnât happy to see her new neighbour â Caro
was
lovely from what sheâd seen of her. Certainly she was more acceptable than her only other visitor so far â Mrs Notley, the commanding officerâs wife. She had called around the day after Maddy had moved in. Maddy had barely got the door open before sheâd barged in and taken stock of what sheâd seen. Or, at least, thatâs what Maddy had assumed sheâd been doing. With Nate screaming, it had been difficult to hold a conversation.
âAnd I wonât hold you up,â Mrs Notley had almost shouted to be heard over Nateâs cries. âI just popped by to make sure youâve settled in OK.â
It would have been patently obvious to anyone that Maddy hadnât and that she was struggling, but the âpopping inâ obviously wasnât going to come with an offer of help. Mrs Notley wasnât wearing pressed jeans and a Boden shirt, topped off with immaculate hair and make-up, with the intention of rolling up her sleeves and