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did. She’d heard the mantra often enough: that a good officer looked after his horse first, his men second and himself last. And, she’d noted, way after that, way,
way
down the pecking order, came his family. She tried not to mind; Seb had explained to her exactly what army life would be like, he hadn’t pulled his punches, but Maddy had signed up regardless. And there
were
good bits, lots of them, but the bad bits were beyond shit.
    He leaned towards her to kiss her. She could smell beer.
    â€˜Have you been to the mess?’ she accused, her hazel eyes flashing with annoyance.
    â€˜A swift half with the lads. Honest, that was all. Just to unwind a bit, before I came home. It’s all been a bit full on and we only got back about an hour ago.’
    Maddy battened down her irritation that he hadn’t come straight back to her. Why shouldn’t he have a drink with the lads? Except when was the last time she’d been able to go out with her friends? Not since Nate had arrived – not once.
    She swallowed down a lump in her throat. God, what was the matter with her? Seb did
not
want a tearful wife as a welcome present. ‘Do you want something to eat?’ she offered, pulling herself together.
    â€˜Too knackered at the moment. I tell you what I would like, a hot bath and a large Scotch. And then probably bed.’
    He did look knackered, Maddy conceded. Even more tired than herself, and that was saying something. They were like a pair of zombies. ‘The exercise was tough?’
    Seb nodded. ‘Pretty tough. The lack of sleep just grinds you down after a bit.’
    As if Maddy didn’t know. And she’d been at it for three months; Seb had suffered for just two weeks. But she didn’t say so. Feeding in the middle of the night – night in, night out – and coping with a baby who cried relentlessly when he was awake, wasn’t half so hard as running about playing soldiers, was it? She could have done with someone to run her a bath now and again and bring her a stiff drink, but had it ever happened? She sent Seb off for his bath while she poured a large Scotch, which she took up to him. He was already stripping off his noxious clothes when she appeared in the bedroom. Beneath his combats his skin was grey with grime and fatigue.
    â€˜Don’t fall asleep in the bath,’ she instructed. ‘I’ll be up in fifteen minutes to check you haven’t.’
    â€˜Yes, ma’am,’ said Seb with a grin.
    â€˜And clean the bath after you when you get out. It’ll be revolting.’
    She had gone downstairs and motivated herself enough to make a stab at unpacking a few more bits and pieces, when she heard a knock at the door. She thanked any god listening that whoever it was had had the sense to knock and not ring the doorbell, which might have woken Nate.
    â€˜Caro! How lovely.’ Which was a lie. Not that Maddy wasn’t happy to see her new neighbour – Caro
was
lovely from what she’d seen of her. Certainly she was more acceptable than her only other visitor so far – Mrs Notley, the commanding officer’s wife. She had called around the day after Maddy had moved in. Maddy had barely got the door open before she’d barged in and taken stock of what she’d seen. Or, at least, that’s what Maddy had assumed she’d been doing. With Nate screaming, it had been difficult to hold a conversation.
    â€˜And I won’t hold you up,’ Mrs Notley had almost shouted to be heard over Nate’s cries. ‘I just popped by to make sure you’ve settled in OK.’
    It would have been patently obvious to anyone that Maddy hadn’t and that she was struggling, but the ‘popping in’ obviously wasn’t going to come with an offer of help. Mrs Notley wasn’t wearing pressed jeans and a Boden shirt, topped off with immaculate hair and make-up, with the intention of rolling up her sleeves and