happened when I saw some elk beside the road. Every other car near us had to have been doing a hundred kilometres an hour and it would have be nearly impossible to stop safely. The power brakes were useless so I just used the emergency hand break as much as possible until we finally stopped. We tried to help the people in the accidents closest to us but almost all of them didn’t make it. The ones who did just sat and waited for help to come. We waited by our car for a few hours but no one came so we decided to just start walking. My best guess based on the sun is that it’s been at least three hours since everything stopped working. Something big must have happened for emergency services to not have responded by now. With all the cars and cell phones dead, I think we must have been hit with some kind of terrorist attack. The only thing I can think to do is walk back to Canmore and try to find help. I think you and your brother should come with us.”
I look over at Matty who’s stuffing animal crackers into his messy face and sigh. We have to go with them. There’s no way I want to sit here and wait for someone to show up. I just can’t bear to stay here with Mom’s body so close.
I nod my agreement and we start to gather up what’s left of the food. Belle is so good with the baby. She has him wiped clean and in his stroller with some of his toys in less than half the time it would have taken me. As Belle and Sasha make their way up onto the road, I keep glancing back at the van. It just feels so wrong to leave Mom there all alone. I just don’t know what to do but I feel like I need to say something or do something. I finally hold up a finger in a just a minute gesture to Belle and climb back inside the van. There’s a faint sour smell inside that gets worse as I climb between the seats to the front. I brace my feet and lean against the passenger side seat. Her hair’s still covering her face and I want to brush it aside to look at her one more time but I’m scared she wouldn’t look the same. Instead I pat her cold hand that rests in her lap.
“Mom, we have to go now. No one’s come to help but a nice lady and her daughter are going to walk with Matty and I towards the last town we went through. I’ll take care of the baby, Mom. I promise.” I sucked back the tears that wanted to clog my throat and say the one thing that was weighting the heaviest on my heart. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry I was such a jerk to you. Mom…Mommy, please come back. I’ll be better, I’ll listen and help out more. Just come back…please?” In my head I knew that wasn’t possible but my heart was begging for it to happen.
After a moment of silence, my shoulders slump in defeat. She isn’t coming back and I needed to say goodbye. Bracing myself on the side of her seat, I lean over as far as I can until my lips could just brush against her hair.
“I love you.” choked out of me. As I opened my eyes and begin to pull away I catch sight of her purse leaning against her feet on the floor. Reaching down, I snag the strap and carry it out of the van with me.
Up on the road, Belle gives me a compassionate smile and rubs my back.
“Ready to go?”
As I nod my head wearily, the sound of an engine breaks the silence around us. We all turn to look with hope in our hearts. Hope leaves me just as quickly when I recognized the dark green pickup truck headed towards us. It’s the same one that had passed me and Matty earlier, although this time it has a long black trailer behind it. I turn away from it to Belle.
“Don’t bother, it won’t stop.”
She gives me a weird look and starts to wave. When the truck pulls to a stop beside us there’s a scowl fixed on my face as I look for the woman and girl that had stared at us earlier. The truck’s empty except for a man who gets out and walks around the front of it to get to us. I have no way of knowing that mine and Matty’s faces have left a haunted wedge of guilt in