Read Sleeping Handsome for Free Online Page B

that.”

 
    April
5,

 
    My
letter finally came today.
    I’ve
been granted a partial scholarship.
    Initially,
I was bummed, but then in this economy sixty percent of tuition paid isn’t too bad.
I’d planned on working fifteen hours or so at the gym during college. Now I’ll
just have to squeeze in thirty hours and find a roommate. Because I can’t live
here.
    If
we’re not ignoring each other, my Dad and me are arguing, actually screaming.
He can’t understand why I’d take a partial scholarship to a local university
instead of full ride to a major university. He won’t listen to me when I tell
him their MFA program is nationally ranked. And my Mom just sits there clueless
stuck between our anger. Hurting her, more than anything else, is making me
nuts.
    At
least things are better at school. Matt and Melanie are dating. They’re not a
couple yet or anything, but she’s moving on and not calling me every day. Her
posse has even quit giving me dirty looks in the hall—like I ever cared. And
Matt, he’s happier than I’ve ever seen him, which makes me realize I did the
right thing all over again. Just wish I’d done it sooner.
    A
few girls asked me out. I declined. I’m going to wait until summer to start
dating. Far away from Melanie’s sight. I’ve already hurt her enough.
    For
now, I’m abstinence… at least until June.

 
    “That’s so cool you got
the scholarship…” Realizing that he should be going to college right now, I
almost stop but decide to say, “You need to wake up and start taking advantage
of that scholarship.” My eyes narrow on his still form. “Like now.”
    Of course he doesn’t
move.
    My thumb fans the edge
of the journal. “Well, I’m happy it worked out for Matt and Melanie. I wonder
if they’re still dating? M & M, get it?” I laugh
at the stupid joke until my chuckles fade. “That plan to not date until
summer…you know you’re pretty amazing, right?” He’s more than that, but I don’t
want to gush too much. Even knowing he can’t hear me, expressing my feelings for
him would be excessively embarrassing.     
    I stare at him while
wishing so much that he could hear me, talk back to me, and look at me. Knowing
it’s all I’ve got, I go back to the journal .   Most of the following entries are just
short recaps of day-to-day stuff until…

 
    May
10,

 
    Fuck.
    Melanie
is all of a sudden calling me, texting me, and dropping by. I had my mom tell
her I was out last night with a friend even though I was up in my room doing
homework. And the tone of her calls and texts is odd. One minute she acting
desperate, the next demanding, and then jealous. It’s like tri-polar or
something. And nothing I say seems to be getting through to her. I really don’t
want to hurt her, but I don’t know how much more of her shit I can take before
I blow up.
    Of
course, Matt is acting weird. I’m not sure what she told him, but I made it
very clear I was still single the other day to him in English. At this rate
though, I might warn him away from the psycho bitch.
    A
bunch of us are supposed to go hiking up on the cliffs overlooking the ocean
two days from now, a senior celebration after our last day of school. Now I’m
not sure I want to go. I wanted to go. Last big high school hurrah and all.
There are over thirty people going so I could avoid those two, but the even
bigger problem is that everyone is meeting early on the beach for breakfast
while I have my final interview at UCI. And since my piece of shit car is in
the shop, I’ll need a ride. And the only person available? My dad.
    I’m
not sure I can deal with all three of those people in one day. But I’ve been
planning on going on that hike all year, and not going because of them seems
spineless.  
    And
I’m through being spineless.

 
    There are no more
entries after that one.
    But that’s not the only
reason my throat feels tight. I know he did go hiking, and now I know three
people who were very