Read Sleeping Handsome for Free Online Page A

to
know.
    In a daze, I wander
back to the corkboard. I easily find him in various pictures. Sitting in the
front with his football team on the stands. One of the tallest standing in the
back of a track team picture. Laughing with a group around a twilight beach
fire. Holding a tall, blonde by the waist in front of a roller coaster with a
group of friends.   In each picture he out
shines everyone so much, I’m startled I didn’t notice him before. Not that I’d
know it was him, but how could I have missed tall, dark, and handsome?
    He’s that magnetic.
    I never imagined he’d
be this good looking. Sure, I expected him to be attractive. Now, I’m just
stunned at how gorgeous he is…was?
    Actually, it’s kind of
freaking me out.
    My gaze snaps to the
bed. His chest moves up and down to the rhythmic whoosh of the breathing
machine. My own chest pauses as I hold in air and realize…
    I don’t want him to
wake up.
    Ever.
    Lying there, he’s mine.
But that boy in the picture will never be.
    Stumbling away from him
as if trying to escape my selfish thoughts, I hit the dresser and the sharp
bite on my spine brings reality.
    I am a bitch.
    Unable to even look at
him, I shelf the yearbook, then the journal, and grab my bag. I rush out
without saying my normal goodbye. In my shocked state, I can’t even speak to
him.

~8~

 
 
 
 
    I take a deep breath, enter his room,
and set my keys on the dresser. “Well, my car’s finally fixed. And I had a
pretty good weekend.”   Well sort of. I
spent most of it getting my head together. “Friday, I watched movies in my
PJ’s. I haven’t done that in eons. And of course Saturday, I took my sister
out. We went to the circus, which was actually fun. Freaky clowns aside. My
sister’s pretty great. It’s hard being jealous of all the attention she gets
because she’s just so sweet.”
    Ignoring the corkboard
of pictures, I go to the shelf and grab his journal. “Sunday I caught up on my
homework.”   I don’t tell him about my
pool lounging time on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday when I thought about him and
faced the fact that I have a major crush on a boy in a coma. A boy who will
never know me. “Physics is killing me, but I’m determined to get at least a B-
in that class. If I get all A’s and B’s, my stepfather pays for acting lessons.
Real acting lessons from the pros who work with the stars. Of course, I only
use my acting chops at auditions. Amanda can’t have friends in stupid school
plays. But I have been in three commercials. I even had a line for a gluten
free bakery commercial.” I pause and belt out the line enthusiastically, “It
tastes just like real cake!”  
    With hardened resolve
lodged in my chest, I finally face him. He looks the same as always, calm and
still. And suddenly I truly wish he wasn’t. A shudder of relief flows through
me. I really do want him to wake up.
    “I also thought a lot
about us this weekend. Just comparing us,” I mumble, because there really isn’t
a Zach and Paige no matter how much I’m starting to wish for the possibility. I
fall into the lazy boy. “About your honesty with your dad and Melanie. Even
before you broke up with her, you felt guilty and knew you were doing wrong.
But me? I haven’t felt guilty. I’ve been blaming Amanda for the bitch I’ve
been. Just going with the flow. And now that I’m starting to take
responsibility, I get how you felt. The guilt is eating me inside out.”
    The worn out upholstery
of the chair tickles my cheek as I look out the window without out seeing. “But
I just don’t know what to do. It’s not like breaking up with a boyfriend. And
how do you right the wrongs you’ve done to tons of people over three years?
Most of it was petty bullshit, but then maybe it was just petty bullshit to
me.”
    My lips tighten as I
open the journal. “Guess I have to keep thinking on how to go about that. Or
even if I’m brave enough to weather the thunder or however you say