it seemed weird to ask her boss’s hubby to beat her ass for a while so maybe she could cry. She’d tossed the idea because it was stupid. She could handle it, and now that she would be alone, she wouldn’t even have to worry about getting caught.
“Natalie, I’m so sorry.” Cal looked back.
Sure he was. He was probably sorry he’d let her watch his kids. He should have known. The pink hair should have told him all he needed to know. Then there was the pierced tongue. “I’ll be gone tonight. Hey, I don’t have a car. Do you think someone can give me a ride into town?”
Cal started driving again, his foot on the accelerator. “No one will give you a ride into town, Natalie. Nor will you be allowed to be alone for the next little bit. I’ll call your therapist, and she can come down for a while.”
Fuck . The last thing she needed was to involve Janine in this shit. “Dude, I can’t afford to haul Janine away from her family.”
“Well, the good news is, I can,” Cal replied. “And you’ll be in the dungeon tonight where I can keep an eye on you. You think I’m kicking you out? I’m doing something worse, Natalie. I’m taking responsibility until such time as your therapist signs off on your being alone or you select a proper Dom. You can take a Dom tonight or Janine will be here in the morning. Everyone else has treated you with kid gloves. I can understand that, but right now what you need is a firm hand.”
She felt her eyes widen. “You asshole.”
Cal’s eyes met hers in the rearview mirror. “Not the worst I’ve been called.”
“You can’t keep me here.”
Finn’s jaw firmed to a stubborn line. “What do you think the sheriff will do if he knows you no longer have a high-priced lawyer, Nat? I think he’ll sell you to the DA as the only possible suspect and try to railroad you.”
He was right. The sheriff just wanted to close the case and get back to fishing. If hauling Nat to jail was his ticket to getting out of real police work, then she would be in an orange jumpsuit lickety-split. “You little fucker.”
Finn flushed. “Yeah, well, if it keeps you alive, then I’ll let you hate me.” His eyes slid back to Cal. “We discovered her penchant for cutting when she went a little too deep and nearly bled out.”
Fucking goddamn, motherfucking, traitor son of a bitch . Why did he have to go there? Gretchen had been the only person at the time who had known, and she’d been Nat’s friend, not giving up the secret. Gretchen had helped make sure the cuts didn’t get infected. Gretchen had understood. But Kitten had walked in that night. It hadn’t been so bad. Everyone overreacted.
She hadn’t stared at her own blood as it drained into the bathtub wondering when she could float again. She hadn’t hoped that she wouldn’t wake up. She hadn’t. That had been just another nightmare.
“Nat, I love you. I would do almost anything for you. I won’t watch you die because of what that fucker did to you. He’s still in your head. He’s still holding you back. And you’re letting him win.” Finn sighed. “Let’s get back to the resort. I’ll call Dani. She’ll understand. Nat doesn’t have to go to the dungeon. I’ll stay with her.”
Cal turned toward the residential section, and Nat wondered how long Hawk would be with her. He’d taken her dignity, raped her body, and left her with scars that never healed because she opened them up again and again.
She hadn’t had sex in years. She hadn’t played. She’d loved to play. Submission had been her outlet, her relaxation. He’d taken it from her.
What if she could take it back?
Cal parked the car. He got out and, like the gentleman he was, opened the door for her. His hand moved to help her out, but he immediately pulled it back.
She wouldn’t even let a man help her out of a car.
“Please.” A simple word, but she had to force it past her throat. Hawk had made her beg, plead. The simplest of polite language