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only working for a local charity who didn’t have the resources to do anything other than offer support and a guiding hand. Caden wanted to be that guiding hand for Elias. The first rule was to help without letting your guard down but it was so hard to have a guard with somebody younger than him. Any of us could have ended up like him.
    “I’m not going to pretend to know what it’s like. The only thing I’ve ever really been addicted to was Jolly Rancher’s in junior high and I only stopped eating those because my dentist scared me to death with pictures of cavities.”
    “Jesus, man,” Elias laughed, “Jolly Rancher’s?”
    “I’m not trying to say I know what you’re going through but I know that you’ve been clean for ten weeks and that’s a start. You might not have had a choice in rehab but you’ve had a choice this week. It shows that you’re strong.”
    Elias uncrossed his arms and dropped his hands in his lap, making Caden’s eyes dart down there with them. He rested his hands on his junk and started picking at the skin next to the nail on his thumb.
    “I’m not strong,” he shook his head, “I don’t even know why I’m not using right now. I have nothing to live for.”
    “Everybody has something to live for,” Caden reached out and dropped his hand on Elias’ shoulder.
    He didn’t know why he did that but when Elias turned to look at it, Caden ripped it away, folding his own arms.
    “If you’re done,” Elias mumbled, “you can go.”
    The sadness in his eyes made Caden’s stomach knot. Elias’ arms crossed over his body, clinging to his slender bicep protectively. Any moment, he would shrink back into the furniture. Caden knew he hadn’t even scratched the surface with figuring Elias out. There must have been something stopping him from relapsing, Caden just needed to figure out what it was.
    “You sure?”
    Elias nodded without saying anything. Caden could see his Adam’s apple bob up and down as if he was trying to swallow back tears. He didn’t want to leave but he knew that they would need to take baby steps if there was any chance of them building a relationship so that Caden could attempt to help him.
    Pushing himself off the couch, he stepped over Elias’ legs, his foot brushing against his hairy shins. Picking up his jacket from the counter, he shrugged into it. On the counter next to the phone was a blank pad and a pen. Caden knew he was breaking the rules but he quickly scribbled down his cell number.
    “Anytime you need anything, I’m on the end of the phone,” he tore the paper off and held it up, “day or night.”
    “I’m fine,” Elias switched the TV on.
    As Elias stared blankly at the TV, pretending that Caden wasn’t even there, Caden gently slid the piece of paper under a fridge magnet of a lobster. Picking up his bag, he headed for the door, pausing to stare back at Elias. He thought about saying goodbye or offering something else but he was sure that it would fall on deaf ears.
    Heading back out into the late afternoon sun, he vowed that he was going to help Elias, no matter what it took. I’m not going to lose another one.

 

     
     
    Elias pushed through the people waiting in line at the reception desk of Ellie’s doctor’s office. Cold sweat dripped from his hair and down his face. People cried out as he made his way to the front of the line, not caring about who he had to push out of the way.
    “Is she in?”
    Ronda, the receptionist, knew Elias. She pursed her lips and darkened her glare as she looked Elias up and down with obvious disgust.
    “She’s with a patient,” she craned her neck to look at the vocal line behind him, “you’ll have to wait in line like the rest of these people.”
    “Yeah! Get to the back, Jackass,” a heavy hand grabbed his shoulder, yanking him back.
    Elias turned to see a man who must be topping six foot, towering over him with a scowl. Elias didn’t care if he was going to lose, he clenched his fists,