feet go faster and slower and faster again for the rest of the walk, as my thoughts tumble inside. When I finally see the house in the distance, my feet stop completely. From Aiden’s file I know it used to be Lodore Falls Hotel; Waterfall House for Girls it is called now. The exterior covered in Lake District grey slate fits the foreground of lake and woods rising behind it, the snow-touched fells beyond. It is warm from this distance, like a soft-focus, dreamy castle, even though I know much of it was destroyed in the riots decades ago, then rebuilt with more concrete and less slate. I carry on. The closer I walk, the harsher it looks.
When I finally reach the house, I hesitate at the door. This is it. Will she know me? Will I know her? Eagerness and fear war inside of me, laced with caution . As Aiden’s notes pointed out, many girls live here. None of them can realise what we are to each other.
Do I knock? Go in?
As if to answer my question the door opens, and a girl steps out. She nods and keeps going. I walk in the door before it swings closed.
There are other girls in the entrance area. Two in chairs, chatting. A woman stands near a large desk. She is tall; long blond hair swept back, dark roots peeking through; thin, maybe forty years old. Neatly, very neatly dressed. Even her buttons shine. Is it her? Nothing about her is familiar. I walk up to the desk.
‘Yes?’ she says.
‘Uh, hi. I’m Riley Kain. I think I’m staying here.’
‘You’re late . I was about to send some of the girls out to look for you in case you got lost in the woods.’ Is it her, my mother? Her lips are pursed, words calm and clear, but her eyes sweep over me with both longing, and confusion. She expects me to be blond, to have green eyes. She doesn’t know about the IMET?
With my back to the other girls, I take my glasses off, as if to rub my eyes. Green eyes. Hers widen slightly. I put the glasses back on.
‘Your ID?’ she says, and I take it out. She scans it into a netbook, hand shaking slightly. ‘You are indeed staying with us, Riley. I’m Stella Connor. You can call me Stella.’
I stare back at her. Stella Connor : Lucy Connor’s mother. But nothing about her or the name is familiar, and bitter disappointment at the lack of memory gnaws inside.
‘You’ve missed lunch, I’m afraid. Tea is here in the conservatory at four, and dinner in the hall at seven. Here is your list of rules.’ She hands me a substantial number of sheets stapled together, touching my hand as she does so. ‘We’ll talk tonight,’ she adds, her words such a quiet whisper that I’m not sure I heard or imagined them.
‘Madison?’ she calls out, and one of the girls looks up. ‘Can you show Riley to her room, please. The tower.’
The girl bounces out of her chair: cute with dark curly hair, not much taller than me, a mischievous glint to her eyes. She walks over. ‘Sure thing, Mrs C.’
Stella’s eyes narrow. Not happy with the Mrs C thing.
‘This way!’ Madison says, with a dramatic flourish. I follow her through a door, down halls to stairs. She looks back. ‘Take her to the tower!’ she mimics, one finger pointing dramatically at the staircase, her voice so like Stella’s that I have to laugh.
At the top of the stairs Madison flings the door open. ‘I can’t believe she’s put you in the tower. It’s been empty for ages. She only let one person stay here a while last year, and that was just because a bunch of rooms were wrecked in floods and all the other rooms were full, and as soon as one was empty she shifted her out.’
‘How many stay here?’ I ask as I walk in, put my bag on the bed.
‘Not so many now. Including you, there are, I believe, seventeen of us. Everyone leaves Waterfall Weirdo if they can get a place anywhere else.’
‘Why Weirdo?’
‘You met the Queen of the Weird downstairs, didn’t you notice? Wait til you read the list of rules.’ She takes it from my hand and brandishes it before