Shadow's End

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Book: Read Shadow's End for Free Online
Authors: Sheri S. Tepper
I murmured.
Weave no sorrow.
    â€œNone,” Masanees replied cheerfully. “They’re both fine. We did it right.”
    I tried to smile and could not. I was not reassured. Each year some did not return from the House Without a Name. Each year some went behind the veil, down into shadow. Each time the women no doubt thought they had done it right. Who would go there otherwise?
    There was no point in saying it. Saying it only increased terror. I had been told one should, instead, sing quietly to oneself. A weaving song, dark and light, pattern on pattern. Turning away up the hill, I chanted quietly to myself in time with my plodding feet.
    The House Without a Name stands on a promontory above Cochim-Mahn. One can see a corner of it from the shelf where the songfather stands, only a corner. One would not want to see it all. One would not want to look at it as part of one’s view of the world. It is easier to ignore it, to pretend it isn’t really there. One can then speak of the choice in measured tones, knowing one need not fear the consequences. As songfathers do.
    â€œThat which we relinquished, death and darkness in the pattern
.
    â€œ
That which we took in its place, the House Without a Name…”
    That’s how the answer to the riddle goes, the one no one ever asks out loud, the riddle my grandmother whispered to me in the nighttime, as her grandmother had whispered it to her. “What is it men relish and women regret?” Grandma asked, preparing me. Letting me know without really letting me know. Frightening me, but not terrifying me.
    It’s the way we do things now. We hint. We almost tell, but not quite. We let young people learn only a little. If they never know it thoroughly or factually, well, that makes the choice easier. If they do stupid things because they don’t know enough, that’s expected.
    As a result, ignoring the house becomes habit and I was able to ignore my approach to it until we arrived at the stone-paved area outside the door. Then I had to admit where I was.
    â€œShhh,” whispered Masanees, putting her arms around me. “It’s all right. We’ve all been through it, child. It’s all right.”
    Still I shivered, unable to control it. “I’m scared,” I whispered, shaming myself.
    Evidently I wasn’t the only one to have said something like that, for Masanees went on holding me.
    â€œOf course you’re scared. Of course you are. The unknown is always scary. Sooner we get to it, sooner it’ll be over. Come now. Be a good, brave girl.”
    She pushed the door open. The house had a pitched roof, but there were wide openings under the eaves where birds had flown in and out and little nut-eaters had scrambled down to make their mess among the other droppings.
    â€œFirst we had to make all clean,” said Masanees. The brooms were lashed to her pack, and I followed her example as we gave the place a good sweeping and brushing, including the tops of two low stone tables that stood sideby side. One table had a stone basin in its center. We wiped it clean and filled it with water we’d carried up from below. Then we emptied the packs at either side of the basin, and I exclaimed at the sight of such bounty! Meal cakes, beautifully colored and baked in fancy shapes. Strips of meat dried into spirals around long sticks of candied melon. Squash seeds roasted and salted. Dried fruits. More candied fruits. Masanees showed me how to lay it all out in patterns, varying the colors, making it bright and attractive. There is always a store of such foods kept in the hive, she said, even when we have nothing to eat but winter-fungus. Even when
we
hunger, these ritual foods are kept sacred so
they
will not hunger.
    When everything was done on the one table, she cast me a look from the corners of her eyes, and I knew whatever was going to happen to me, Saluez, would happen now. She spread a folded blanket upon the

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