Read Selby Snaps for Free Online Page B

they’re looking at me like this!’
    ‘Okay, Selby,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Do you know how to talk? Do you?!’
    Suddenly the needles on the Truth-ometer dials shot up.
    ‘I do believe you’re right!’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘He had feelings when I asked that question! If he had feelings then he must have understood me. Selby can understand English!’
    ‘They’ve found me out,’ Selby thought. ‘Now I just
have
to confess.’
    Selby was about to say, ‘Okay, I know how to talk but please don’t tell anyone else,’ when suddenly Dr Trifle said to Mrs Trifle, ‘Let me try this on you again just to be sure.’
    Dr Trifle tugged the wires out of Selby’s paws and handed them to Mrs Trifle.
    ‘Now remember not to say anything,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘You look very young, young lady. Are you twenty years old?’
    Mrs Trifle tried not to smile.
    ‘Well, that part works. The Blush Indicator went way up into the red zone so the Truth-ometer knows that you’re a lot older than twenty,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘Now for your real age. Of course I know the answer but I’ll pretend that I don’t. Mrs Trifle,’ he said in his best police inspector’s voice, ‘are you forty-four years old?’
    Mrs Trifle’s face twitched slightly and then her mouth turned down.
    ‘Something’s wrong?’ Dr Trifle said. ‘The Stroppiness Indicator is up to a hundred Huffs!’
    Mrs Trifle threw down the wires.
    ‘What’s wrong, dear?’ Dr Trifle asked.
    ‘What do you think is wrong? Why don’t you look at the calendar for once!’ Mrs Trifle said as she stormed off to the bedroom.
    Dr Trifle glanced at the calendar.
    ‘Oh, no!’ Dr Trifle said, hurrying into the bedroom after his wife.
    ‘What’s going on?’ Selby said, looking at the calendar. There, on that day’s date, someone had drawn a big, pink smiley face.
    ‘Oh, no!’ Selby thought. ‘It’s her birthday! She’s not forty-four — she’s forty-five today and Dr Trifle forgot it again. No wonder the Truth-ometer went crazy! Hmmm, where’s the battery in this thing?’
    Selby whipped the battery out and snapped it in the other way round just as Dr and Mrs Trifle returned to the loungeroom.
    ‘I thought you were going to remember this time,’ Mrs Trifle sniffed. ‘I dropped so many hints about those shoes I wanted.’
    ‘I’m terribly sorry,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘Let’s go and buy them right now.’
    ‘All right. I’m sorry I got so upset,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘But, hang on. Are you listening to this, Selby? Come on, put the wires back in his pawsand let’s find out once and for all if he understands us.’
    Dr Trifle placed the wires between Selby’s toes.
    ‘Right,’ he said, staring at the dials on the Truth-ometer. ‘Do you know how to talk?’
    Selby watched as the dials on the machine went in every direction.
    ‘This doesn’t make sense,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘We’re getting mega Smirks on the Embarrassment Indicator and Shivers by the dozen and Gigs and Squirms and even Huffs. The machine’s gone haywire! He’s lying and telling the truth at the same time. It doesn’t make sense,’ Dr Trifle said, throwing it in the wastepaper basket. ‘Oh well, come along dear. Let’s forget this nonsense and buy those shoes.’
    ‘What a good idea,’ Mrs Trifle said, ‘and I think there may just be a matching handbag too.’
    ‘Oh me, oh my, oh me,’ Selby thought as the Trifles’ car drove off. ‘That was a close one. I just hope he doesn’t get any ideas again about learning the truth.’
    Paw note: Dr Trifle didn’t really say ‘Selby’ he used my real name — which I can’t tell you because it’s a secret.
    S
    Paw note: Only my real owners’ name isn’t really ‘Trifle’ either. (This is getting very confusing.)
    S

MY BRILLIANT THOUGHT
    Today I thought a brilliant thought
The sort of thought a genius ought
To think. But it was me instead,
Who’d caught this thought within my head.
    Just how it was it came to be
That such a thought