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will break the glass. I’m more afraid that it’ll break her finger if she keeps going.
    “I don’t know what to say. I wish I could look inside my own head and find out what happened and tell them.”
    “Get your fucking head out of the gutter, then. You’re lying to yourself,” she spits. “Don’t you think I know? Don’t you think I’ve seen you stammering? You’re trying to protect yourself.”
    “I’m trying, Ashley, I’m really trying. I’ll make it right.”
    “Not good enough. I know you’re trying to hide from yourself, Lillith. You don’t want to face what happened to us. Instead, you choose to ignore it all and forget it ever happened. You stuffed it away deep inside that little brain of yours so even you can’t reach it. Well, fuck you! I’m in here, thanks to you. So, unless you tell them everything there is to know, I won’t be getting out of here, and neither will you.”
    I shake my head, blinking away the tears. “I’m sorry. I’ll try harder.”
    She laughs and looks at the floor. “You’re pathetic.”
    What she asks of me is impossible to achieve. Even if I remembered, nothing will change the fact that we are in here as prisoners to the system. Nothing I say will make them believe me. Everything I do only strengthens their belief that I have gone insane. Those same facts apply to Ashley. We are not just at war with them, but with ourselves, too.
    It’s quiet between us. I don’t know what to say, and neither does she, apparently. After a while, I hear her sigh.
    “What are you doing here?” she says.
    “I want to help you. Please … I don’t want to fight with you. Can’t it be like before? Us, being friends … The good old days?”
    She laughs, hard, like she’s gone mad this time. And then she looks at me with eyes that make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “It will never be like it used to be.”
    And then she turns around, walks back to her bed, sits down, and faces the padded wall, ignoring me completely. I walk away in silence with my head high, wiping away the single tear that managed to run down my cheek.
    I’ve made my decision. I’ll get her out of here. Somehow. Some day. Even if it costs me my sanity. I owe it to her.
     
     

 
    Accompanying song: “My Song” by Nova Heart
     
     
    Summermount Psychiatric Hospital – April 19 th , 2013, 10 p.m.
     
     
    In my room, I gaze out the window. There’s no one to be seen. I know he’ll come to me, eventually. Sighing, I lie down on my bed and listen to my roommate snore. I hate the sound. I hate everything about this place, which is exactly the reason why I’m making sure I won’t be here tomorrow.
    As I turn around on my side, I notice the snoring has stopped. I blink a few times before checking. My roommate has disappeared again. I don’t have time, nor do I care, to wonder where she’s gone. Someone’s right beside my bed. Sleek, dark pants accompanied by shiny, leather shoes. My eyes trail up from his feet to his sleeves, which are being pulled neatly in place. Surprised, I gasp, but Sebastian places a finger on his lips, causing me to shut my mouth again.
    “You know the rules.”
    I nod. I can tell he doesn’t want me to speak when we’re still in this hospital. Don’t want to alarm anyone. He doesn’t need to say anything for me to know what he wants me to do. It’s like I can see into his mind.
    As our eyes meet, my lips part, and my hunger shows. His lips curl up into a devious smile. He looks beautiful down from where I’m lying. His blond hair gently falls down the sides of his face. His eyes are warm and inviting. Like a guardian angel, he watches over me.
    He takes off his black jacket. It slides down his arms seductively. His movements are smooth like a velvet blanket as he unbuttons his shirt achingly slow. Getting up, I bite my lip and sit in front of him as he stops unbuttoning.
    “Why are you stopping?” I say, placing my hand on his stomach.
    He grabs my hand and