eye to her subjectâs. âEvery morning I look in the mirror, studying. Searching for the signs of aging. I focus on each new line, each crease. The softening line of my jaw.â
She fisted her fingers. Jane caught the reflex on tape.
âI canât eat anything because it either goes straight to my gut or makes me retain water. As for drinkingââ She laughed, the sound angry. âOne too many cocktails and my eyes are puffy for days.â
Jane understood the way fears and insecurities could become a great, clawing desperation. Or worse, self-hatred.
âDo you have any idea how many hours Iâve spent in the gym? On the stair machine and treadmill? How many buckets of sweat Iâve poured out in an attempt to stay a size six? Or how much money Iâve spent on collagen injections, Botox and chemical peels?â
âNo,â Jane murmured, âI donât.â
The woman leaned forward, arms curved tightly around herself. âThatâs right, you donât. You canât. Because youâre thirty-two . A decade younger than I am. A decade .â
Jane didnât respond. She let the silence grow between them, edgy and uncomfortable.
When Jane spoke, she repeated her earlier question, bringing them full circle. âWhat are you afraid of, Anne? When youâre alone in the dark, who is the monster?â
Tears filled her eyes. âGetting old,â she managed. âBecoming soft. And lined. Andââ She drew a quick breath. âAnd ugly.â
âSome would disagree. Some see the progression of time on the face as beautiful.â
âWho?â She shook her head. âThe day youâre born, you begin to die. Think about that.â She leaned forward. âDonât you find that depressing? Physically, youâre most perfect at birth.â
Jane worked to hide her excitement. This piece may prove to be one of her best. It felt that good. Later, she would make that determination by studying the tape for powerful subtleties: the way emotions played over her subjectâs face, the way her body language mirroredâor contradictedâher words.
âThatâs it, Anne,â Jane said, wrapping the session.
âItâs over? That was easy.â She scooted off the table. âIt went okay?â
Jane smiled warmly. âIt went great. Iâm thinking I might use it in my upcoming show, if I can get the corresponding reliefs done in time. Ted will schedule your sittings.â
During those sittings, Jane would make a plaster mold of Anneâs face and various parts of her body. She would thencast them using molten metal, dripped into the mold. The liquid material formed a lacy, meshlike reliefâthe organic effect caused by the slipping, sliding and pooling of the metal over the subject created a dramatic contrast to the rigid quality of the material itself. Critics had called her work both lyrical and stark. Feminists had lauded it as both an indictment of society and a gross exploitation of women.
Jane thought of it as neitherâher art was simply the visual expression of what she believed to be true. In this case, that Western society valued beauty to an unhealthy degree, especially in women.
The visual artist, like the writer, musician and even standup comedian, used her own experiences to say something about the human condition. Sometimes what she had to say didnât go down easy; it spoke differently to each individual, never the same to all. And yet the universality of the message was what made it powerful. That indefinable something that touched many, yet no one person in the same way.
Anne motioned the dressing room. âMind if I get changed?â
âPlease do.â
The woman looked at Ted as she backed toward the dressing room. âIâll just be a few minutes.â
As the door snapped shut behind her, Ted met Janeâs eyes. âI have that effect on a lot of your