Read Second Hand (Tucker Springs) for Free Online

or some new twist proved he was The Same One as Always.
    She never listened because she was lonely. El knew that. As he thought about it, he realized that was his problem too, though not in the same way. He was plugging into the same bullshit, thinking someone who felt off the beaten path could work some kind of magic and fill his life with cheesy soundtracks and longing glances.
    Which was crazy. El liked his life. It was the way he wanted it. He hated cheesy soundtracks, and he never glanced longingly at anything. Paul was amusing and entertaining. Adorable too, yes. And straight.
    Not that any of it mattered, because El didn’t do relationships, and he wasn’t going to be doing Paul.
    So there wasn’t any harm in enjoying his company, because Paul didn’t have a pond and El didn’t want to go fishing.
    Or something like that.

The morning after my night with El at the bar, I woke feeling thick-headed and groggy. The beer had been a bit too dark and intense for me, much like Emanuel himself. Still, I felt better for having spent time with him. Somehow lighter for having spilled my guts to a man I barely knew. It seemed like I should feel awkward about it, but I didn’t. El’s simple acceptance of it all, as if it were a story he’d heard a hundred times before, made it easier. It was like having gone to confession, but without any of the Hail Marys.
    My mom called early in the afternoon and asked to talk to Stacey. “I thought I’d wish her a happy birthday.”
    I debated lying and telling her that Stacey was out for the day, but that would only delay the inevitable. I hated to disappoint my mom, but there was really no way to avoid it any longer.
    “She doesn’t live here anymore, Mom.”
    A heartbeat of silence, then, “What do you mean?”
    She knew what I meant. Her question had more to do with filling an awkward space than with needing an explanation, but I gave one anyway. “She left me.”
    It made me sad how Mom almost sounded relieved. “Did the two of you have a fight?”
    If only it had been that simple. “She decided we were going in different directions.” What that really meant was that she’d decided I couldn’t give her what she wanted, but no need to be too blatant about my shortcomings. I shut my eyes, hating that I had failed like this, hated what my mother was about to think of me. “She met somebody else. A professor at the university.”
    “Oh, Paul. I’m so sorry. Are you doing okay?”
    “I’m fine, Ma,” I lied.
    “You’re such a nice boy, honey. You’ll meet somebody else. I know you will. Somebody who truly appreciates you.”
    Leave it to my mom to pull out the most clichéd mother speech ever. And yet, it helped a bit. “From your lips to God’s ears.”
    “How’s the clinic?”
    “Fine.”
    “Do you still like it?”
    “I do. My boss is a great guy, and I love all the animals, you know?” I wished I hadn’t disappointed everybody by failing so miserably, though. I should have been the veterinarian. Instead, I answered the phone for Nick and sent out bills.
    No girlfriend. No fiancée. No real job. No real life. Just some secondhand makeshift number I’d pulled out of the wreckage of what should have been.
    Mom interrupted my pity party with a depressingly upbeat tone that screamed Bright New Idea. “Do you have any plans for the summer?”
    “Not really. I can’t afford to go anywhere.” I could barely afford to stay put, either, but that made me think about the pink flier. “My neighborhood is having this contest for nice yards. The prize is $500.”
    “That sounds like a good way to get outside,” she said. “Get some sun. Maybe you’ll meet someone nice.”
    “In my front lawn?”
    “Stranger things have happened.”
    I laughed. My mother was an optimist and a hopeless romantic. She called me a pessimist, but I didn’t see it that way. I dwelt closer to the land of reality. “I’ll settle for the cash prize, but thanks anyway.”
    “I’m