this week. I go back to work tomorrow.’
Josef sat back and folded his arms.
‘You think I can eat this shit?’
‘It’s not shit,’ Tanya said, trying to control her anger. ‘In Ukraine you would have been glad of it. You’d have been glad to eat at all.’
‘Well, I am not in fucking Ukraine. I’m here.’ He sneered. ‘We ate better when you made your wages on your back. Maybe you get on your back for Mr fucking Frank and we eat better.’
Silence. Tanya froze, terrified he suspected her and Tony.
‘You hear me, Tanya?’ He slammed the table with his fist, making her jump. ‘When you made money from fucking, we used to eat steak. Now you clean offices and we eat this kind of shit.’ He pushed the plate away.
Tanya tried to stay calm, but the words were out before she could stop herself. ‘If we eat shit, it’s because you drink every penny I make and you won’t even look for a job.’
She didn’t even see the slap coming, but it almost knocked her off her chair. Her cheek burned. Tears sprung to her eyes.
‘You bastard, Josef. Fuck you.’ Tanya jumped up clutching her face and headed for the door.
He was after her in a flash.
‘Where do you think you’re going, you cheap whore?’ He caught her by the arm and swung her round so hardshe knocked into the table and sent the glasses flying. He slapped her twice on the face and she tasted blood in her mouth.
‘Stop,’ She screamed. ‘Leave me alone, you drunk, useless fuck of a man.’ She tried to spit at him but nothing came out.
He let go of her, his eyes blazing.
She wiped blood from her mouth with the back of her hand as she wept. Then she couldn’t stop herself.
‘I hate you. I wish I’d never met you. All you’ve ever done is bully and beat me and take everything from me. Can’t you even look at yourself in the mirror and see how repulsive you are? My flesh creeps every time you touch me.’ She tried to push past him, but he stood in front of her, pinning her against the sink. He smelled of sweat and stale booze.
His face reddened and he grabbed her by the wrists, and turned her around, forcing her arms behind her back.
‘Stop. You’re hurting me.’
‘You never complained when some fat old bastard was hurting you as long as he was paying, you bitch. He dragged her towards the table and bent her over, slamming her face onto the wood, holding her down with one hand.
‘Fuck you, woman. This is all you are. And these days, you’re not even much good at that. So shut the fuck up and I teach you who is boss in this house.’
‘Stop.’ Tanya screamed and struggled as he pulled up her skirt and tore her pants off.
Through her tears, Tanya could see the blood from her mouth smear the table as he held her down and raped her.
*
It was just gone six when Tanya slipped out of the single bed in the spare room. She moved softly around the house, creeping into the bedroom where Josef lay snoring like a bull. It crossed her mind to go into the kitchen and grab a knife and stab him to death while he slept. She’d read enough in the papers about rape, that she could claim self defence. The bruises on her swollen face and an internal examination by a doctor would back up her story of last night’s brutality. But it was easier just to walk out on him.
She closed the door quietly, crept down the three flights of stairs with her small suitcase and opened the door, walking out into the bright, fresh morning. It was over. Whatever it had been with Josef in the beginning had died a long time ago. The beatings had begun before she had started her affair with Tony, and once he had made her know what it was like to be treated with love and respect, her revulsion for Josef grew. She was on her own now, the same as she was when she arrived here from Ukraine four years ago. She didn’t starve then and she wouldn’t starve now. Josef wouldn’t come after her. He would know that last night he had crossed a line.
Tanya took nearly an hour