Read Saving Lawson (Loving Lawson Book 2) for Free Online
Authors: R.J. Lewis
own, and I felt picked apart by them.
“You’re beautiful to me,” he whispered solemnly. “Nothing will change that for me.”
“I’m insecure,” I replied, swallowing the lump in my throat as I began to admit everything I never said out loud. “You don’t like insecure. You don’t like needy girls who need reassurance all the time. You can have anyone without having to deal with their bullshit self-esteem problems. But that’s me in a nutshell. I’ve had a beautiful baby but I feel ugly.”
“I don’t want anyone else,” he replied softly, a small smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. “With you, I like insecure. That gives me more reason to compliment you, and I like doing that. It’s a win/win on both sides.”
I sighed and resisted rolling my eyes. At this point in my life, he would probably have to compliment me for a hundred lifetimes. As if sensing my mood, he shifted even closer to me. His lips skirted along my face as he whispered, “I love every inch of you, no matter how different it looks. It’s mine, and anything that I deem is mine is going to be enough to keep me satisfied for the rest of my life.”
“Every inch?” I asked quietly.
“Every” – his hand slowly roamed my body – “Inch.”
I smiled out of reflex, but I was quivering on the inside. His words were always so soothing, but it was the way he said them, so filled with conviction, that made me want to cry. Maybe it wasn’t wrong to have self-esteem issues after all. Maybe it was normal, and all a woman really needed was a good guy like Heath to help make it better.
“Be proud of every change your body holds,” he continued. “You sacrificed it to have the most beautiful baby. You earned every one of those changes. It’s a matter of perspective, Allie. You can look at them and think they’re horrible. Or you can look at them and think, ‘wow, my body did the most incredible thing: it gave life.’”
Now my smile was genuine. My body slowly relaxed in the mattress. As usual, I wondered what I did to deserve him. Then again, maybe relationships were supposed to be this way. Without wanting to, my mind jumped straight to Ryker and how he treated me. Despite him chasing me in the beginning, I’d gone through so much indifference. He’d been distant for months before he’d even showed me another side to him. I’d always wanted to understand why. What made him want me to begin with? Why had he been insincere and distant at the start?
I bit down on my lip, not wanting to ask the dreaded question: are you going to see your brother again? I’d explained what Ryker had said to me the last time I was there. And the times after that, he refused to leave his cell to see me. I had been cut off, and I would be a liar if I said it didn’t hurt. It hurt because he had a son, and he’d made no effort to even want to know about him. No, instead, Heath had stepped up to the plate and blew me away. I still struggled with how fast things changed, but I didn’t want to dwell. I told myself to be adaptable. Whatever the future brought, I’d face it with my head held high.
But it would have been difficult on Heath too. He’d gone to see Ryker after I did, and when he came back, he said the meeting had gone nowhere. That Ryker had got up and left him when he asked to talk everything through. Since then, he didn’t want to talk about it. He was hurting. Ryker was his brother, after all.
“So tell me about the fight?” I said, breaking the silence between us.
“You’re half-asleep, Allie. I think the last thing you want to know about is my fight.”
“What does it matter if I’m half-asleep?”
He chuckled. “Because every time I talk about a fight, you get concerned and work yourself up about them. You dwell on every bruise I have and how many times I got hit. I’d rather not talk about it. You need to sleep. Not be concerned over something silly.”
“Silly?” I repeated, raising a brow in offense. “Is
“You’re beautiful to me,” he whispered solemnly. “Nothing will change that for me.”
“I’m insecure,” I replied, swallowing the lump in my throat as I began to admit everything I never said out loud. “You don’t like insecure. You don’t like needy girls who need reassurance all the time. You can have anyone without having to deal with their bullshit self-esteem problems. But that’s me in a nutshell. I’ve had a beautiful baby but I feel ugly.”
“I don’t want anyone else,” he replied softly, a small smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. “With you, I like insecure. That gives me more reason to compliment you, and I like doing that. It’s a win/win on both sides.”
I sighed and resisted rolling my eyes. At this point in my life, he would probably have to compliment me for a hundred lifetimes. As if sensing my mood, he shifted even closer to me. His lips skirted along my face as he whispered, “I love every inch of you, no matter how different it looks. It’s mine, and anything that I deem is mine is going to be enough to keep me satisfied for the rest of my life.”
“Every inch?” I asked quietly.
“Every” – his hand slowly roamed my body – “Inch.”
I smiled out of reflex, but I was quivering on the inside. His words were always so soothing, but it was the way he said them, so filled with conviction, that made me want to cry. Maybe it wasn’t wrong to have self-esteem issues after all. Maybe it was normal, and all a woman really needed was a good guy like Heath to help make it better.
“Be proud of every change your body holds,” he continued. “You sacrificed it to have the most beautiful baby. You earned every one of those changes. It’s a matter of perspective, Allie. You can look at them and think they’re horrible. Or you can look at them and think, ‘wow, my body did the most incredible thing: it gave life.’”
Now my smile was genuine. My body slowly relaxed in the mattress. As usual, I wondered what I did to deserve him. Then again, maybe relationships were supposed to be this way. Without wanting to, my mind jumped straight to Ryker and how he treated me. Despite him chasing me in the beginning, I’d gone through so much indifference. He’d been distant for months before he’d even showed me another side to him. I’d always wanted to understand why. What made him want me to begin with? Why had he been insincere and distant at the start?
I bit down on my lip, not wanting to ask the dreaded question: are you going to see your brother again? I’d explained what Ryker had said to me the last time I was there. And the times after that, he refused to leave his cell to see me. I had been cut off, and I would be a liar if I said it didn’t hurt. It hurt because he had a son, and he’d made no effort to even want to know about him. No, instead, Heath had stepped up to the plate and blew me away. I still struggled with how fast things changed, but I didn’t want to dwell. I told myself to be adaptable. Whatever the future brought, I’d face it with my head held high.
But it would have been difficult on Heath too. He’d gone to see Ryker after I did, and when he came back, he said the meeting had gone nowhere. That Ryker had got up and left him when he asked to talk everything through. Since then, he didn’t want to talk about it. He was hurting. Ryker was his brother, after all.
“So tell me about the fight?” I said, breaking the silence between us.
“You’re half-asleep, Allie. I think the last thing you want to know about is my fight.”
“What does it matter if I’m half-asleep?”
He chuckled. “Because every time I talk about a fight, you get concerned and work yourself up about them. You dwell on every bruise I have and how many times I got hit. I’d rather not talk about it. You need to sleep. Not be concerned over something silly.”
“Silly?” I repeated, raising a brow in offense. “Is