Read Rodrick Rules for Free Online Page B

tightening the last screw.

    You could tell they were pretty relieved the house hadn't burned down while they
    were away.
    I don't think we're totally out of the woods just yet. Because with the way Dad was
    poking around tonight, I'm sure it won't be long before he figures out about the
    party.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy looking for something under the sofa with a torch
    light.] "Sniff Sniff"
    Well, Rodrick might have lucked out this time, but all I can say is, he should be
    glad MANNY wasn't there to see the party. Manny is a HUGE tattletale. In fact,
    he's been telling on me ever since he could talk. He's even told on me for stuff I did
    BEFORE he could talk.
    103
    When I was a kid, I broke the sliding glass door in the family room. Mom and Dad
    didn't have any evidence that I was the one who did it, so they couldn't peg it on
    me, and I was in the clear. But Manny was there when it happened, and two years
    later, he squealed on me.
    [Image: A cartoon of a child complaining about his brother to his parents.] "Bubby
    thowed wock at big window."
    So after Manny started talking, I had to worry about all the bad things he saw me
    do when he was a baby.
    [Image: A cartoon of a hitting the child with his water gun.] " S quirt Squirt"

    104
    I used to be a big tattletale myself until I learned my lesson. One time, I told on
    Rodrick for saying a bad word. Mom asked me which word he said, so I spelled it
    out. And it was a long one, too.
    Well, I ended up getting a bar of soap in my mouth for knowing how to spell a bad
    word, and Rodrick got off scot-free.
    [Image: A cartoon of a mother looking at her son whose mouth is stuffed with
    soap.]
    Monday
    Tomorrow, I have an English assignment due where I have to write an "allegory"
    That's basically a story that says one thing but means something else. I was having
    trouble getting inspired, but then I saw Rodrick outside working on his van, and I
    got an idea.
    105
    Rory Screws Up by Greg Heffley
    Once upon a time there was this monkey named Rory. The family he lived with
    loved him very much, even though he was constantly screwing things up.
    [Image: A cartoon of a man looking angrily at the monkey.] "Rory!!!"
    One day Rory accidentally rang the doorbell, and everybody thought he did it one
    purpose. So they gave him some bananas as a reward.

    [Image: A cartoon of two people talking to a mankey.] "You are so smart, Rory!
    EEE! EEE!"
    106
    Well, now Rory was going around thinking he was some sort of monkey genius or
    something. And one day, he heard his owner say--
    [Image: A cartoon of a man talking to a monkey and a lady.] "My dang car is
    broke!"
    So Rory's primitive mind raced to formulate a plan. And here is what he eventually
    came up with:
    [Image:. A cartoon of a thinking monkey.] "Rory...fix...kar!"
    Rory worked all day and all night, and to make a long story short, the end result
    was not a fixed car.
    [Image: A cartoon of a man talking to the monkey near thecar] "Rory!!!"
    107
    After it was all over, Rory had learned a very valuable lesson: Rory is a monkey.
    And monkeys don't fix cars.
    [Image: A Monkey.] "THE END"
    After I finished my paper, I showed it to Rodrick. I figured he wouldn't get it, and
    sure enough, I was right.

    [Image: A cartoon of two boys in front of their truck.] "Monkeys don't understand
    English, stupid."
    Like I said before, Rodrick knows he's got me under his thumb with this "secret"
    thing. So I have to get my licks in any way I can.
    108
    Wednesday
    Today was Manny's first day of preschool, and apparently it didn't go so great.
    All the other kids in Manny's school started back in September. But Manny wasn't
    potty trained until last week, so that's why he had to wait until now to make the
    jump from day care.
    Manny's preschool was having their Halloween party today, so it wasn't the
    greatest way to introduce him to his classmates.
    [Image: A cartoon of some small preschoolers.]
    Manny's teachers had to call Mom at work and have her come get