Read Roaring for Him (BBW Paranormal Shapeshifter Romance) (Wicked in Wilder Book 1) for Free Online

“Rude.”
    “Rude.” Emma gave her a blank stare. “It’s rude to kick a guy out because he sucked? Let’s roll this back a little. I’m assuming the guy is gonna be hot because, well, look at you.”
    Tilly knew what she looked like. It wasn’t bad, she wasn’t ugly or anything, but she wasn’t exactly society’s ideal beauty. Though, in truth, a lot of guys were tits and ass men and she had a great set of tits and a banging ass. A lot of both, though. “And?”
    “You’re smoking. I mean, you look better when you wear my panties—”
    Which, taken out of context sounded really bad. But sitting in the middle of Lush literally surrounded by panties that belonged to Emma, it made sense.
    “—but no matter what, you’re hot. I assume the guy is equally hot. And if he can’t live up to the hot guy visual promise, then it’s false advertising. And what happens when we buy something and it doesn’t work as promised?”
    “We throw it away,” Tilly replied blandly.
    “And when do we do that?”
    She rolled her eyes. “Immediately.”
    That was actually something they’d adopted after watching one too many hoarder shows. They knew they didn’t want to become the crazy ladies with a million cats and five hundred boxes of Made for TV junk. Emma didn’t want to address the fact that, as a lioness, Tilly would never have a problem with pets since they were all afraid of her.
    “Right. So, if his dick is broken due to operator error, he’s thrown away.” Emma was always so smug when she was right, dammit.
    “Yes, oh Masterful Dick Whisperer.”
    “Though how you manage to find every asshole who doesn’t know what to do with his penis is beyond me. I mean, they grew up with it , how do they not know how it operates?”
    “Preach it, sister.” It really was a question for the ages. Hundreds of thousands of years and evolution couldn’t have passed on the knowledge of how to satisfy a woman? It boggled the mind.
    “You know…” Emma grew quiet, eyes intent on the cookies. “Maybe if you made Vixenless Vagina cookies that were anatomically correct, you could carry Vagina cookies and Dong cookies and do a little cookie demonstration before you invite him inside.”
    “What?”
    Emma nodded and the scent of her excitement teased Tilly’s nose. Suddenly the lioness was on board with whatever her best friend came up with. It wasn’t just Tilly’s human half that was annoyed by joyless sex. The cat was pretty frustrated with the men she brought home as well. Not that there’d been many, but if she wasn’t going with quantity, the cat figured she could at least up the quality a little.
    “Yeah! And you gotta cut a hole in the vagina cookie and maybe make the dong cookies a little slimmer.” Emma got to work biting off bits and pieces of the boob cookies to form… Dear God in heaven.
    “Emma…”
    Emma ignored her and moved on to the dong, making it narrower. “Like this!” She held up her treats. “But imagine this decorated differently with your clit and stuff.”
    She never wanted her best friend to ever say that again.
    “And you put them like this!” She brought the cookies together, apparently the dong aiming for the impromptu vagina. “Oh, it would work better if there was a hole. Then the cookies could fuck and you could show him where to touch while he—”
    Tilly reached across the counter and snatched the cookies back. “No perverting the cookies any further or you’ll never get another.”
    “Bitch.”
    “You know it.” She took a bite out of the vagina. Gah, Emma had gotten to her, too. “Anyway,” Tilly checked her watch, “I gotta go. I have a bridal appointment in fifteen minutes and then I get to go home and sleep.”
    Wonderful sleep. She pushed herself Monday through Friday, pumping out pastries and desserts and Saturdays were her slow days. Apparently everyone wanted a pastry on the way to work or a cupcake on the way home, but weekends crawled. Which led to