enough, I think she will.” I gave a half-hearted shrug, disliking what I had to do. “Even if she doesn’t think she can, I’ll do whatever I have to convince her to take me.” Including forcing my will on her and hoping it wouldn’t destroy our friendship. I rubbed my belly, wincing at a heel thrusting into my ribs. Little Garret was at stake. All of us were at stake. The day I’d discovered Garret in there, the mother bear in me roared to life, and at the latest disaster to befall us, she extended her claws.
My son. It still sounded foreign on my tongue—like I knew what to do with a kid. I could barely take care of myself most of the time. The thought of him outside of my body, where I actually had to feed him, keep him safe and figure out what he wanted, scared the bajeepers out of me. Give me the Shadowborn again any day, and I’d probably have been less terrified than I was of becoming a mother.
After the short journey through the city, Liam knocked on Brígh’s door, and Cas opened it a moment later. “Come in.” He stepped aside.
I forced myself to look at him. His drooping posture made him seem small and broken, as if hearing Brígh’s news had shattered some fundamental structure inside him.
“I’ll do it,” Brígh’s said to the demand I hadn’t yet presented.
She sat at their wooden table by the white kitchen, both of her delicate hands cradling a china cup. Steam rose in silver ribbons, folding around her face as she brought the tea to her lips with shaking fingers.
Did that mean she’d Seen it, and I’d get to speak to the Overseers? Or she’d Seen me ask the question?
My confusion must have shown on my face, because she shrugged and said, “It’s just logical. They don’t respect your authority and have put us all on death’s door. I’d want to rip their heads off, too. Especially Tameryn.” Laughter burst out of her, a bitter, maniacal sound that could have been her sanity taking one more step toward the long drop into oblivion. “In fact, I’d really love to slap that old nag right now. Please tell me we’re going right this second, because I really need to pound something.”
The momentum I’d built up, to fight for what I needed, didn’t relent so easily. My mouth bobbed open a few times before I said, “Uh … okay. That was easier than I thought it would be.”
Cas didn’t sit with her but went to stand in the kitchen. One of his large hands propped against the counter, a half whittled horse clutched in his other, his forlorn gaze locked onto his mate. The shadows had disappeared from his eyes, and a flicker of anger took its place as he set the carving down on the countertop, his fingers lingering before letting go. “I’m going.” His growled tone suggested he wouldn’t be easily deterred.
“No, you’re not,” Brígh and I said in unison. She added, “You have a dick, which makes you a danger to the”—her fingers curled in air quotes, and she rolled her eyes—“ purity of their inner sanctuary.”
“Purity of their …. What do they think I’ll do? Go down there and proposition them or something.” Cas thrust his hand into the air, a look of utter disgust flattening his expression. “I’m not into geriatric lovin’, Christ!”
Brígh laughed, a more genuine sound that eased the gorilla off my chest. “They’re not all old, only Tameryn, but yeah, you don’t want any of them, either. Gross.”
Liam squeezed my hand, passing his thumb over my knuckles in rhythmic circles—another of those bits of happiness I’d stopped fighting. “I’m starting to wonder why the Overseers came here to Iress. They seem more fitted to Neasa’s little brigade who stayed in Dun Bray.” Where Neasa had appointed herself queen. That fact still pissed me off to no end and gave me a twitch whenever I thought about it.
“They’ll be nearest whoever has the Goddess’ favor, and that’s Lila.” Brígh said it through a curled lip.
I had to bet my face