them. There were three of them, roped up. I could see them. They were Polish, and really strong. They were at the top of the game.â
He paused again.
âThe snowfield scared me,â he said. âIt was loaded with fresh snow. It was obviously unstable. But the summit was right there, and they couldnât resist it. They went for it. I didnât know what to do. So I stopped and watched them. They knew the risk they were taking. They moved as slowly and as carefully as they could, and they almost made it.â
He shook his head a final time.
âIt was a huge slide. It took all three of them down the face. They fell at least three thousand meters. One moment they were there, and the next they were gone. I was safe on the rock band. It just went by me, and there was nothing I could do.â
âDidnât you go get help?â
He laughed.
âThey fell almost ten thousand feet. They didnât need any help.â He paused. âDo you know what my first thought was?â
I shook my head.
âI thought, thereâs no avalanche danger now.â
He closed his eyes again, then opened them.
âMy first thought was that the summit was wide open. Three hours away at most. Perfect weather. Early in the day. No problem.â
âThen why didnât you do it?â I asked.
âBecause my second thought was that Iâd just seen three men die, and I realized it was for nothing. If I hadnât stopped to watch them, and had started up the snowfield, I would have been dead as well. My death also would have been for nothing. Iâd been lucky as a climber up to that point. I hadnât seen anyone get killed. But suddenly I learned what it really is, what kind of risk I was taking. And I realized that Iâd become someone I didnât want to be. Someone who would think of the summit first, and human life second. Someone who defined everything in terms of his own personal ambition and accomplishment. The only person in the world who would care if I climbed that mountain was me. No one else. And climbing it wouldnât have mattered any more than dying in the avalanche. I saw all of that on the ridge that day. I sat there, and looked down at the view for a while, and then I turned around, and went back to the high camp, and helped my partner down like I should have from the beginning. I gave up high-altitude climbing after that.â
âAnd you started to do relief work.â
âNot right away. It took me a long time to understand what I wanted to do. But I realized I wanted my life to mean something. I wanted it to have significance. I didnât want to be just another dead mountaineer. Or even just another famous one. There are lots of those.
âItâs terrible to say this, I know,â he continued. âBut in many ways the earthquake was the best thing that ever happened to me.â
I didnât know how to reply. If he noticed my unease, however, he gave no sign. He ate the rest of the appetizers quickly, washed them down with the wine, and refilled his glass from the bottle on the table. He tapped his fingers on the table.
âTheyâre slow here,â he said. âI hate bad service.â
If anything, my confusion about him deepened.
âSo,â he said, finally. âTell me why youâre buying me dinner.â
âAs I said, Iâm curious about your organization and what youâre trying to do.â
âItâs quite simple. Weâre trying to save a population at risk. You can do two things to help us. Give us money or volunteer your time. Or both. Or, of course, you can do neither.â
âYes,â I replied. âI understand that.â
For the first time since weâd sat down, he looked at me directly. He smiled, wearily and quickly.
âIâm sorry,â he said. âI appreciate your interest, I really do. Iâm just tired.â
I nodded.
âWhy donât you tell me
Jennifer Richard Jacobson
Lee Ann Sontheimer Murphy