I can
decide who I want to do… things with.”
“I just didn’t want you to
get involved with a guy like Michael, that’s all,” I said, laying my head back
on my pillow. “I wanted to do the best friend thing and look out for you, y’know ?”
“You keep saying stuff like
that, Jess, but I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean. What’s so bad about
Michael?”
I sighed, rubbing my hand
over my face. I hated talking about my time with Michael, even with Becky, and
she knew that, but at the rate that she was pressing everything, I wasn’t sure
I’d be able to keep what had happened between him and I a secret for very long.
“Michael started out fine,”
I began. “We did all the normal couple things that you’re supposed to do. We
went on dates and went to the movies and kissed.”
“That doesn’t sound so
terrible,” she said.
“I’m not done yet. After
the first few months, things started to change. We’d be talking about things
like school, and I’d correct him on something—usually something small, like the
order of some historical event. And whenever I did that, he would get so mad.
“I didn’t think anything of
it at first, and he just glared at me and we finished our date. But after the
two of us were alone…” I paused, swallowing hard as I remembered the way my
cheek stung from that night. “He slapped me across the face. He told me never
to correct him like that in public—or ever. He was so loud and so angry that I
just told him ‘okay’ so that he’d stop.”
“That doesn’t sound like
Michael…” Becky said, her tone doubtful.
“Maybe not the Michael you
know,” I said, wiping a tear from my eye. “It got so much worse than that,
though.”
“Maybe you’re just making
it seem worse than it was,” she said, trying once again to make an excuse. “Look,
if you’re jealous because I’m sleeping with him now…”
“That’s just it, Becky,” I
explained. “Michael and I never had sex the entire time we were together. Not
even once.”
“That can’t be true,” Becky
said.
“He wanted to—all the
time—but I told him that I wasn’t ready yet. It didn’t feel like the right
time. That made him angry.” I stopped for a moment to try and steady myself, my
eyes shut tight against the tears. “He kept slapping me and grabbing me,
telling me that if I didn’t give it to him like I was “supposed to,” he would
keep hurting me. He’s not a good person, Becky.”
“Jessica,” she whispered,
her voice faint. “Oh, my God… I’m sorry.”
“He pulled out a fistful of
my hair,” I continued, swallowing hard to keep my voice from cracking. “And
after that, he told me that he was done with me. He didn’t want ‘some cow that
didn’t put out. ’_”
Silence once again reigned
over our conversation, both of us recovering from everything I’d just laid bare
to her. I’d hoped that I would never have to tell her, or anyone, what Michael
had done, and that the world would just move on and I could get on with my
life. But I couldn’t let my best friend walk right into a relationship with the
man who’d abused me for almost a year. I was lucky I got away from him, and if
I could keep Becky from ever knowing that pain, then I’d do it, even if it cost
me our friendship.
“I love you, Becky,” I
sighed. “You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister. So I need you to
make me a promise that you’re never going to see Michael. I need that promise
from you before I can sleep tonight.”
“I… If you’d have told me,
I would never…” she started, and I could practically picture her chewing on her
lip in deliberation. “Okay, Jess. I promise.”
“You’re not upset?”
“I had a little fun and
nothing bad happened. Besides… He wasn’t the only one I took to the closet last
night.”
“Oh God Becky!”
“It
Marianne de Pierres Tehani Wessely