Rich Man's Coffin

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Book: Read Rich Man's Coffin for Free Online
Authors: K Martin Gardner
the newest addition to our crew.   Bring her to me, please."
              Arthur obediently walked away quickly, and disappeared down a ladder hatch.   He searched his mind as he climbed down, trying to figure out whom the Captain could be referring to.   Arthur had been on the ship the whole time in port, so there was only one person he could imagine. He began to cringe.   He reached the Captain's dressing closet. He took a deep breath and hesitated.
    It can’t be her , he thought. He put aside his dread and flung open the doors.   There, hanging from the crossbar, was a large brass cage.   Inside, calm and regal, perched a large, green bird.   Arthur scratched his head.   Was I so busy during stores loading that I missed the bird? He wondered.
              Arthur lugged the heavy cage back to the Captain.   The Captain thanked him handsomely, and asked, "Have you ever seen a parrot before, Arthur?"
              "No, Sah."
              "I didn't think so.   It is a beautiful creature, don't you agree?"
              “Yes, Sah,” he said, breathless partly from exertion, but more so from relief that he did not find the Captain’s wife.
              "The parrot is traditionally a sailor's best friend.   Unlike the seagull which can be seen at sea sometimes far from land, the parrot will appear only when land is nearby.   Furthermore, once a parrot is onboard and out of sight of land, it will remain around the ship, come hellfire or hurricane.   Also, the parrot is quite affectionate, and it can be taught to speak.   Did you know that, Arthur?"
              "No Sah."
              "Well then, let this be a pleasant lesson for you.   This parrot is going to be my companion for the second leg of the trip.   The man I bought it from said that she is already domesticated, but she doesn't know any words yet.   I want you to help me take good care of our friend here, Arthur; but remember, I want to be the only one who teaches her to speak.   Is that clear?"
              "Yes Sah."
              The Captain said, "Very well, then."   He proceeded to open the cage.   He carefully placed a finger up to the bird's perch. It cautiously clasped onto his cuff.   He brought the bird out slowly, murmuring and cooing softly, and coaxed it onto his left shoulder.   He craned his neck, looking at the bird for a time. Confident that it would remain there, he turned to Arthur with a beaming smile.   The Captain said, "You see, Arthur, a soul mate in the making."
              Arthur said, "Yes, Sah."
              The Captain said, "That is all.   Carry on.   I will give you feeding instructions in the morning after we have cleared the Horn."
              Arthur said, "Yes, Sir." He turned to walk away.  
              As he was approaching his post, he heard a strange, high voice from behind. “Please Mister Arthur!”   He turned on his heels in time to see the Captain, parrot on his shoulder, frozen in mid step down the ladder.
              Arthur said, "I beg your pardon, Sir?"
              The Captain said, "I did not say a word."
              The parrot squawked, "Please Mister Arthur!”
              The Captain hesitated. Suddenly, he flew into a rage, wildly waving his arms and circling the deck. The parrot began imitating his agitation, launching into a volley of loud, vulgar phrases, one right after the other, while clinging to the Captain’s shoulder.   The pair created a comical spectacle that sent the topside crew into hysteria.   The Captain, seeing his command deteriorating, lashed out with a final act of anger and flung the poor bird from his shoulder.   Dazed and confused, the parrot took flight into the early darkness of the approaching evening.

 
    VI
              Countless threats of flogging Arthur were thwarted by returned promises of mutiny; and the Captain and

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