Read Rhubarb for Free Online

minutes later, he heard the beeping.
    Smoke billowed out of the oven. Water dripped on the
linoleum. He had to let his towel go to use both hands to take the battery out
of the smoke detector. After he got dressed and opened some windows, he dumped
the charred pizza in the trash and dropped the trash in the Dumpster on his way
to Sonic, or maybe Wendy’s. No, Sonic had those giant slushes.
     
    ~ * * * ~
     
    “Randy Coburn is a physicist and author who worked with JPL
on the Voyager missions and has consulted with NASA on several projects, but
he’s known internationally for his recent research on the Nazca Lines of Peru.
Welcome, Randy Coburn, to Beyond Insomnia .”
    “Thank you, Lee. It’s an honor to be on the show.”
    “I had the pleasure to introduce you at this year’s
WakerCon. And we had a great response from your talk there. So it’s great to
have you on now, and I hope we can get you back to WakerCon next year in
Cincinnati.”
    “Wouldn’t miss it, Lee.”
    “At the con you debuted your new book, Lines of Sight: A
New Perspective on the Construction and Meaning of the Lines of Nazca, and What
It Means for Us Today. How have you been received with these new theories?”
    “Lee, the response has been overwhelming. I can’t tell you
how many letters, emails, tweets, and even telegrams I’ve gotten from
supporters.”
    “Now, you spent a lot of time in the field while doing the
research for this book.”
    “Six trips to Peru in as many years, Lee. I made thirty
flights over the lines and many overland visits. We’re still waiting to get special
dispensation from the Peruvian government and UNESCO to do more accurate
surveys.”
    “For those who haven’t read the book, can you give us a
brief synopsis of your theories?”
    “Absolutely. Reiche believes that the lines and figures were
entirely the creation of the Nazca people as a religious astronomical calendar.
And of course von Daniken theorizes that the lines were a landing field for
ancient astronauts. I fall somewhere in between. The problem, Lee, is that the
figures and lines don’t correlate with anything we know in our own sky, even
when we roll back the star positions a few thousand years. Nor do the figures
correlate well with the common religious imagery of the Andean tribes at that
time.”
    “That leaves us with a bit of a mystery, doesn’t it?”
    “I postulate that the lines are actually a map, created by
the Nazca people at the direction of extraterrestrial visitors. It’s not a map
reflecting the sky of Earth, but the sky of the visitors’ home world. The lines
are meant to orient and provide spatial coordinates. The figures are
constellations seen in that other sky, but rendered as local animals as a
mnemonic device.”
    “So it’s your assertion that if we locate these
constellations, it will reveal the visitors’ home.”
    “Exactly. I’m working on a computer program that will…”
     
    ~ * * * ~
     
    Thank you for stopping at Lockwood Town Pump
Conoco.
    Step 1: Select Pay at Pump/Credit or
Pay Inside/Cash.
    Step 2: Swipe card.
    Credit, Debit, or Fleet Card? Enter fleet card PIN.
    Would you like a receipt? Y/N
    Would you like a car wash? Y/N
    Step 3: Select grade.
    85.5 Regular Unleaded
    88 Mid-Grade Silver Unleaded
    91 Premium Platinum Unleaded
    Step 4: Lift handle.
    Step 5: Begin fueling. No smoking. Do
not top off. Report spills to attendant.
     
    A little after five in the morning a few weeks later, a
familiar Lincoln Town Car floated into the gas station. The driver’s-side
window rolled down. “Yo, Screw Man, I got one of your nails in my tire,”
Jeffrey called. He got out and swiped his card in the opposite pump.
    “Morning, Jeffrey,” Martin said with a yawn.
    Jeffrey set the nozzle in his ride. “You working Billings
today?” he asked.
    “No, I gotta do Columbus, Absarokee, Red Lodge, Joliet,
Bridger, and maybe Laurel if I can get there.”
    “That’s a lot for you, isn’t it?”
    Martin rolled