there by the downed man, like a faithful dog.
“I said who are you ?” Evan stopped where he was, about four meters from the two figures.
“I’m Gary,” answered the seated man. “Who are you?”
“Forget that. What the hell is that thing?”
“Somebody in this camp ain’t what he appears to be. Right now that may only be one or two of us. Who said that? Did Kurt Russell say that?”
Evan spoke into the shoulder mic connected to his communications gear. “We have two here, L.T. They appear to be unarmed. One of them might be Zed. I don’t know…Something’s not right about this.”
“Zed?” the man on the ground grimaced from the pain in his thigh. “Zed’s dead baby. Zed’s dead. Hey, who said that?”
Something was definitely up with homeboy on the ground. Evan was pretty sure the guy was autistic.
“Yeah, okay. Gary, right?”
“Bruce Willis said that, didn’t he?”
Evan ignored him. “What’s the story with… this .” Evan dipped the barrel of his Model 7 at the rooted thing.
The thing spoke. “Schlemiel, Schlimazel, Hasenpfeffer Incorporated.”
“Holy shit!” Evan was startled. He hadn’t understood a word the thing said but he definitely hadn’t expected it to speak. It showed no signs of making a move towards him. Given its abject state of appearance, Evan didn’t think it could move too fast if it wanted to. “Dammit, I almost shot you! Why didn’t you say you could talk?”
“Bang-bang, he shot me down.” Its eyes were filmy but still sparkled with life. “Bang-bang, I hit the ground.” It laughed—a congested, unnerving sound. “That awful sound…”
“Do you speak English?” Evan started to ask. Stupid question. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?” The thing raised its voice into a high pitch.
“Holy shit.” Evan whispered to himself this time. He stared at the thing. It stared back at him, making eye contact, unlike the seated man. Was this thing mocking him? Evan didn’t think so. “L.T.. I’ve made contact.” Evan spoke into the comm mic, but didn’t take his eyes off the two men. “We’ve got two human beings here. One requires medical attention for a leg wound, the other…well, shit , you’ll see when you get here.”
“Houston, we’ve got a problem…”
Evan did not reply to the rotting man’s comment. “Who are you, Gary?”
“I’m the guy behind the guy behind the guy.” Gary looked up at Evan nervously. “Where’s that from?”
“I have no idea. But that’s the guy, right? Standing next to you?”
“I shall call him Squishy,” said the thing, and that’s when it dawned on Evan. “And he shall be mine. And—”
“Wait a minute. Wait a minute!” Evan held up a hand and lowered his Model 7. “That’s a line from a movie, isn’t it? That’s Finding Nemo or some shit, right? I watched that with my nephew…”
“Give that man a Klondike bar!” Gary exclaimed. “Let me ask you, soldier…” His voice got all serious. “What would you do for a Klondike bar?”
“Gary? Gary, listen to me, okay? Talk to me. What’s the story here? Where did—”
“What’s the story morning glory?” the rotting man chimed in.
“—where did you guys come from?”
“From out there.” Gary scooted around on his butt and pointed, back towards the way they’d come. In the Outlands.
“Thar be monsters…”
“Gary. Does this guy have a name?”
“Sure he has a name. Why wouldn’t he have a name?”
“Gary—”
“That would be kind of funny if he didn’t have a name, wouldn’t it?”
“What’s his name? What’s this guy’s name?”
“Mickey. His name is Mickey.”
As if on cue, a clump of Mickey fell off into the grass.
Evan grimaced. That was disgusting. “What happened to Mickey? Why’s he like this?”
“I was born in Mississippi…” Mickey was reciting “…a poor black child.”
“Who is Gary to you?” Evan asked