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she’d tried to leave him he’d become enraged and attacked again saying she was his, she could never leave and if she did, he would kill her. The crazy look in his eyes as he straddled her, spittle dripping from his mouth like a rabid dog as he threatened her, told her she should believe his threat.
    She’d towed the line, kept the house perfect and became the dutiful wife like he wanted, never questioning him again. However, that hadn’t stopped the beatings. One particular beating ended the life of their child, a child she’d feared to bring into that house, but wanted desperately when she found out she was pregnant. Hope’s throat closed at the memory and tears formed in her eyes when she remembered her baby boy would have been five this year.
    Hope never allowed herself to get pregnant again; she knew it was selfish to bring a child into this world with a father who was abusive, and one, Hope had suspected, didn’t want to share with his wife. He’d confirmed what she’d feared when he felt like being a loving husband one night, and confided he’d worried the baby would take her love from him. With sinking dread, she’d remembered his anger when she’d said no to sex; she was six months pregnant and tired. He’d lost it, then he’d beaten her and she’d lost her little boy.
    The memory of that painful night came back to Hope, and she buried her head deeper into the pillow and cried. She’d never seen her son; her husband had insisted he be taken away when she’d delivered him stillborn, told her it would be too traumatic and then had her baby boy cremated. She never forgave herself for his death, never thought about having children again after that, just got her shots every three months and accepted her childless life.
    In what seemed like forever, she heard the final thud and groans on the other side of the wall, and figured the deed was done. Hope heard laughing and giggling by the unknown couple, and for some reason, that disturbed her more than the sex she’d just been privy to. She covered her head to block out the sound, but the vision of a happy couple laying between crumpled sheets, clinging to each other in their post sex glow, wouldn’t leave her. For a brief moment, she traded places with the woman, and when she envisioned herself looking up into the eyes of this unknown lover, she saw almost black eyes looking back at her. Nic’s face came to her at that moment, and an involuntary blush ran up her face heating her, as her heart beat out a rapid pace with thoughts of the man.
    When Nic had stood up for her, he’d made her feel safe for the first time in years. His overall package was sex personified, and even though she’d felt embarrassed in his presence, she’d been attracted to his virility. His strength had scared her at first, then it had called out to her on a primitive level, and she knew she needed to steer clear of him for several reasons. But, mostly, to guard herself against any attachments. It wasn’t fair to any man; woman or child to become close to them, and it would make it harder to leave when the moment came, and there was one thing she knew with certainty, she would have to run eventually. John wouldn’t stop looking for her, not as long as there was breath left in his body. He didn’t give up; never backed down, not in the ten years she’d known him.
    Breaking her thoughts from Nic, and done giving John anymore headspace, Hope reached for her iPod, turned it on shuffle and the first song that played was “This Ain’t Goodbye” by Train. She closed her eyes and chuckled with a heavy heart; it seemed like all she had done her whole life was say goodbye. To her parents, to her son, even her dreams of a family who loved her, and now to any chance she had at a normal life as long as John was alive.

    Nic closed the door on Nicky’s room after he’d checked him to make sure he was safe, this was something he’d done nightly when his son stayed with him since