years ago?
Or that despite the fact that sheâd pulled a Judge Judy on his ass over the way heâd landed his community service sentence, then met his cold shoulder with an equally arctic counterpart as sheâd worked him into the kitchen tiles, he still found her unbelievably and unequivocally hot as hell.
God, he was screwed. And not even in a way that would leave a smile on his face.
âWhatâs the matter, Donovan? One day of plates and pots enough to send you around the bend?â
Alex blinked himself back to his usual table in Bellyflopâs bar area just in time to catch the good-natured glint in the eyes of his former squad mate Nick Brennan. If anyone knew the twists and trials of working in a professional kitchen, it was definitely Brennan. After suffering a career-ending injury two and a half years ago, the guy had spent his time doing exactly that before coming back to Fairview last month to teach at the fire academy.
After all, once a firefighter . . .
âLaugh it up, fry boy,â Alex said, giving up half a grin before sliding off his padded leather bar stool to shake his buddyâs hand. âI take it you heard about my disagreement with McManus.â
âWho hasnât? The storyâs all over the department.â Brennan tipped his darkly stubbled chin at their passing waitress, pointing to Alexâs beer bottle with one hand while holding up two fingers with the other as he parked himself across the table. âGotta hand it to you, dude. When it comes to going all-in, you are definitely committed.â
Alex shrugged. Heâd had the same philosophy for the last twelve years, and while it mightâve gotten him into a bunch of scrapes, his all-in, all-the-time mindset was definitely better than the alternative. âFrom where I sit, thereâs really no other way to be. After all, Capâs not running a knitting circle. We either take risks or people get hurt.â
âYouâre preaching to the choir. Believe me, I remember what goes down on shift.â Brennan plucked a specials menu from between the salt-and-pepper shakers on the table to give it a nice, long look-see, and even though his expression didnât vary from its terminally easygoing status, guilt poked holes in Alexâs chest all the same. Brennan had been injured the same night theyâd lost Mason in that gut-twisting apartment fire. One minute, theyâd all been clearing the building, business as usual. The next, part of the third floor had collapsed, Brennanâs career had been shattered along with a pair of his vertebrae, and Mason was gone.
And wasnât that one more balls-out reminder that life was short.
âYeah.â He finished the last of his beer, the empty bottle finding the polished wood table with a thunk , and Brennan leaned in, his voice notched low against the music spilling down from the overhead speakers.
âListen, Teflon, I get where your head is, but do you think maybeââ
âWell, well, look who it is! I heard this guyâs gonna be the next Martha Stewart.â Tom OâKeefe, one of Station Eightâs paramedics, arrived at the table, clapping his palm over Alexâs with a wry laugh. Cole followed behind him, sending a thread of relief beneath Alexâs breastbone. While heâd never disrespect Masonâs memory, giving his emotions airtimeâespecially in the middle of a moderately populated sports barâwasnât part of Alexâs game plan. The past was past. What mattered was the moment you were in, and not a whole hell of a lot more.
After all, if you werenât busy living, you were busy dying, and no way was he going out with a fizzle instead of a slam-fucking-bang.
âYouâre hilarious, OâKeefe. Really. Asshole,â Alex tacked on, but his buddy just lifted his brows in an exaggerated waggle.
âOh, now youâre just flirting with me.â OâKeefe