have to know me.”
“But I want to,” he replied with a grin.
I walked out of the class, confused. He never
said what I thought he should. What was I supposed to say? I
started to panic.
“Can I walk with you to Anatomy?” I was too
distracted to realize that he’d followed me out of the room.
“You are not in my Anatomy class too, are
you?!” Seriously, the world was conspiring against me, along with
my rapidly beating heart. I tried to take a deep breath, but I
couldn’t fill my lungs.
“Didn’t notice me at all this week, huh?”
People stopped to look at us as we walked down the hall. I’m sure
their universe was getting tipped upside down too, to witness Emma
Thomas walking down the hall with another student, who was also a
guy – the same guy she made a scene with in the hall yesterday. Let
the gossip begin.
It didn’t take long to reach the classroom
due to my escaping pace. I stopped outside of Anatomy and turned to
face him. He peered down at me in anticipation.
“I get that you’re new, and I must seem
intriguing to you. But I assure you, I’m not that interesting. You
really don’t need to get to know me. I get good grades. I’m decent
at sports, and I keep myself busy. I like my privacy. I like my
space, and I like being left alone. That’s it. You can get to know
everyone else in this school who’s dying to know you. I’m not.
Sorry.”
He grinned.
“And stop looking at me like I’m entertaining
you. I’m not amused, so leave me alone.” I rushed into the
classroom. I thought I would feel better, relieved – but I didn’t.
Instead, I felt defeated.
I had no idea where Even sat during Anatomy,
but it wasn’t next to me. Actually, no one was sitting next to me.
The seat where Karen Stewart usually sat at my table was empty.
Karen was always lost during the lessons and constantly asked me
questions to try to keep up. Today, I finally had the silence I
kept pushing everyone away to get, but it wasn’t comforting.
By the time the bell rang at the end of the
day, I was over it. Knowing I was staying over at Sara’s and didn’t
have to return home helped – as did not seeing Evan again.
“Hi!” Sara greeted me as we gathered our
books from our lockers. “I feel like I haven’t seen you at all
today. How are you? You didn’t get to tell me…”
“Don’t mention it. Later, okay? I’m finally
feeling better and just want to have fun tonight, alright?” I
pleaded.
“Come on, Em. Don’t do this to me. I heard
you and Evan walked together to Anatomy. You have to tell me
what’s going on.”
I hesitated, not wanting to say anything
where we could be overheard. I scanned the halls, stalling to make
sure I wasn’t going to add to the already circulating gossip.
“He keeps trying to talk to me,” I explained
to Sara. I thought this might be enough, but Sara shrugged her
shoulders, waiting for me to continue.
“You were right yesterday. He told me he
thinks I’m interesting , whatever that means. Sara, he’s in
all of my classes, or at least it feels like it. I can’t get away
from him – he’s always right there .
“I finally told him that I wasn’t interesting
and to leave me alone. That’s what the walk to Anatomy was about. I
don’t get this guy.”
“Em, he’s interested in you. Why is that so
bad?” Sara asked, genuinely perplexed. I was surprised she didn’t
understand the problem.
“Sara, I can’t have anyone interested in me.
You’re my only friend for a reason.” Her eyes lowered, beginning to
understand my dilemma.
“I can’t go out. I don’t go to the movies.
Tonight will be the first and probably only party I’ll ever go to.
I don’t want to have to lie. And if anyone ever got close enough to
touch me…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. The thought of being
afraid to be touched because I might cringe in pain made me
shudder.
I wished I didn’t have to be so convincing,
but until I said it, Sara hadn’t put it together.