beach that was walking distance from the
lodge. His family owned a summer house on the lake, so he stayed
for the season and worked as a lifeguard.
For two days, we went to the beach and
drooled over him. After his shift on the second day, he invited
Sara and me to a bon fire party at a private beach.
When Jeff introduced us to his friends, I
lied and said I was Sara’s cousin from Minnesota. That lie
developed into a more elaborate story that Sara and I
pre-fabricated before the party. My false life revealed itself
comfortably, allowing me to be anyone I wanted and no one knew the
difference. I didn’t have to be invisible, because I really didn’t
exist.
Swept up in my story, I allowed Jeff to get
close to me. I was able to talk and laugh with ease. Jeff and I
ended up having a lot in common - he played soccer and we listened
to a lot of the same music. He was an easy person to like.
At the end of the night, while everyone was
sitting around the fire either coupled off, or involved in
conversations, Jeff sat next to me on the sand, leaning against a
large log, intended to be a bench. In the midst of the calming
mood, with the sounds of a few guys playing guitar in the
background, he put his arm around me, and I leaned against him.
Being against him was oddly comfortable considering this was the
closest I’d ever been to a guy.
We talked and listened to the music. He
shifted his body to face me and casually leaned down to kiss me. I
remember not breathing for a minute, paralyzed with fear that it
was obvious I hadn’t kissed anyone before. He was gentle as his
soft, thin lips touched mine.
It wasn’t easy saying good-bye, with false
promises of emailing; but it wasn’t hard either. Not for Emma
Thomas from Weslyn, Connecticut – the overachieving, self-contained
shadow who roamed the halls of Weslyn High. It wasn’t hard because
that girl didn’t truly exist to Jeff.
That’s what was bothering so much about Evan
Mathews. He knew I existed. He was determined to pull me out from
the shadows, and I couldn’t get away from him. He wasn’t deterred
by my one word answers or abrupt responses. He wasn’t supposed to
be paying attention to me, and I was trying, without success, to
ignore him. But he was getting to me, and I think he knew it – and
it seemed to amuse him.
I took a deep breath before entering my A.P.
European History class, prepared to see him as I walked in the
room. He wasn’t there. I looked around in surprise and felt my
heart sink. That was another problem. My heart was beating,
stopping and sinking like it had a mind of its own, not to mention
the absurd flushing that was overtaking my face. I was beyond
annoyed!
Evan wasn’t in my Chemistry class either.
Maybe he wouldn’t be everywhere as I feared. Distracted with
retrieving my homework assignment during Trig, I tensed at the
sound of his voice, inciting the rapid beating in my chest.
“Hi.”
I continued opening my notebook for today’s
lesson, refusing to look at him.
“Not talking to me at all now, huh?”
Angered by his antagonism, I couldn’t contain
myself any longer. I turned to face him.
“Why do you want to talk to me? What could you possibly want to talk to me about?” I snapped.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise but
quickly replaced the look with his taunting, amused grin.
“And why do you keep looking at me like
that?!” My face flushed as I tightened my jaw.
Before Evan could answer, Mr. Kessler walked
in to begin class. I stared at my book and the front of the
classroom throughout the period. I could feel him looking over at
me every so often - it kept me on edge the entire class.
As I was gathering my books to head to
Anatomy, I heard him say behind me, “Because I think you’re
interesting.”
I slowly turned around, with my books
clutched firmly to my chest.
“You don’t even know me,” I replied
defiantly.
“I’m trying.”
“There are so many other people in this
school - you don’t