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poured a glass of grape Kool-Aid from the refrigerator. Then she took a chair, pushed it in front of the fridge, climbed on top of it and grabbed the bottle of vodka from the freezer. Hopping off the chair, she poured it into her drink and swallowed it all. Having developed a tolerance for liquor, when the Kool-Aid mixture was done, she poured another glass of vodka straight before drinking it all. And just like that the trials and tribulations of Harmony Phillip's life began.
     

Present Day
    Green Door – Adult Mental Health Care Clinic
    Northwest, Washington DC
     
    “So talk to me, Ms. Phillips, tell me at what point in your life, did everything else change?” Mrs. Christina Zahm, asked jotting down notes on Harmony’s health chart.
    “What do you mean when did everything else change? My life has been fucked up from the very beginning. Haven’t you been listening to me?”
    “Yes I have.” Christina said putting a few loose strands of her brown hair behind her ear. Her white skin flushed from the heat in the room. Although it was summertime, the air conditioning was broken and no one had bothered to repair it yet. “And I know you know that I have been listening. But why bring kids into this world when you knew you hated yourself?”
    “Because I was raped as a child, I don’t deserve to have children?”
    “I’m not saying that. It’s just that, well, from what I read in the paper, you were so brutal with your children.”
    “I was.”
    “But why subject innocent children to a life so cold?”
    “So…everything is my fault now? I told you my life story…and how I was brought up and after everything it’s still my fault? What about those who were supposed to protect me?” Harmony said pointing at herself. Her body frail from years of alcohol abuse, and her face loaded with hate lines.
    “Harmony, I don’t mean to place blame. But in order to get down to the heart of the matter, I need to know the why’s to some of my questions. It is through the why’s that I can help you over these hurdles so that we can make a change.”
    “By change you mean you’ll stop me from drinking alcohol? Or help me love my kids?”
    “I mean we can help you change your life and everything about it. And when your life is changed, you’ll be so much happier. And maybe even repair the relationship with your children.”
    “They don’t want me and I don’t want them.” Harmony said looking down at her worn out tennis shoes.
    “When they see you’ve changed, they may.”
    “You blame me don’t you?” Harmony said with raised brows. “You blame me for what happened to all of those people.”
    “I don’t blame you for anything.” Mrs. Zhan sighed. “I’ve already said that. So how about we start over. Tell me about your teenage years.”
    “How early?”
    “Take me back to your high school days. Let’s start there.”

 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    PART TWO
     

Summer of 1988
    Southeast, Washington, DC
    Harder…Stronger
    Jace Sherrod
     
    The basement in me and my aunt Karen’s house was dim, but bright enough for me to see five members of my seven-man crew. The only light in the room sat above the pool table makin’ it look greener than it actually was. The silence was heavy and my men were starin’ at me. But I was lookin’ at the nigga Bam on the pool table, tied up like a fuckin’ hog, with rope binding his ankles and wrists together behind his back. A red sock was stuffed in his mouth and duct tape held it in place.
    When Paco moved a little, I looked at him and then all of my men. I knew what they wanted from me, but I wasn’t ready to bring it like that. I wasn’t ready to kill.
    “How much longer you think we should wait?” Paco, the getaway driver of my crew asked. “I mean, it ain’t like we can let him go. We gotta do somethin’.”
    Paco was light skin and shorter than the rest of us, but girls thought he was cute so he stayed with a different broad