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terrible tattoo. Telk made a vow to the moon and stars to search all the beer gardens and bars, until he found Hans Wirth.
    “ I will kill you slow and painful, Hans! ” announced Telk, ripping off the covers where Wirth lay naked in bed. “ It ’ s time for payback! ”
    “ I knew this day would come, ” s a i d Wirth , sighing . “ I am an old man. What worse than my decay can you do? ”
    “ I am only limited by time and imagination, ” answered Telk, displaying a jagged saber. “ Beg to be killed quick. ”
    “ Stinky G ypsy, unworthy of life. You are not human, not even of my species. ” Hans Wirth clutched his left arm, pain radiating from his chest. Weakened, Wirth rolled over , dying.
    “ No! ” shouted Telk, throwing the knife, striking Wirth in the throat. Wirth ’ s last breath was a gurgle. Telk twisted the knife, listening to the blood squish like grapes during a Romanian wine - making festival. “ You pay for what you did to innocent Yolanda, who never had the chance to experience the three-hundred-ninety-six st eps to sexual bliss! You bastard! You pay! ”
     
    * * * * *
     
    Still in the throes of his latest fantasy, Private Telk racked the slide back on his assault rifle, leveled it at the two spider Intelligentsia, and opened fire. “Pay!”
    “ Oh shit! ”“ shouted Sergeant Williams, grabbing Telk. “ Why? What have you done? ”
    “ I will not move on! ” replied Private Telk, still in a daydream daze.
    “ We ’ re the Legion, ” added Private Krueger, slapping Telk on the back. “ We go where we please. ”
    “ Right on, bro! ” cheered Corporal Tonelli.
    Even spider legionnaire Wayne seemed upbeat. Sergeant Williams immediately reported the incident to Legion Headquarters.
    “ Only two? ” asked Major Lopez. “ Spider Intelligentsia? ”
    “ Private Telk just shot them down, ” reported Sergeant Williams. “ In cold blood. ”
    “ Without provocation? ”
    “ Yes, sir. All the spider said was ‘ move on. ’ And Telk went crazy. ”
    “ I see, ” advised Major Lopez, annoyed. “ Get your ass on our side of the DMZ, and stop calling me to micromanage every little thing that happens! Understand? ”
    “ Yes, sir. ”
    “ If you break radio silence one more time, I ’ ll give your stripes to Telk! ”
    “ Yes, sir. ”
    “ Bury the bodies! ”
     
     
     
     
    Chapter 7
     
    As Legionnaires crossed the checkpoint south across the DMZ, Private Telk noticed a camel sitting lazily under a palm tree. Maybe it was Telk ’ s imagination, but did that camel just wink? It seemed to be smiling lewdly. Private Telk tried to get a grip, still slightly disorientated from his wounds. Telk ’ s comrades forgave him for the grenade incident, but Sergeant Williams was still on his ass about those two Nazi spiders.
    A camel under a palm tree , mused Private Telk. This place is just like ancient Jerusalem or Nazar eth , except a lot different, what with aliens, legionnaires, armored cars, electricity, MREs, and no Arabs or Jews. But, the New Gobi Desert d oes have camels and palms.
    Spiders loved camels. Big Al ’ s New & Used Camel Sales did a brisk business in quality camels. Big Al, the spider proprietor of Big Al ’ s New & Used Camel Sales, cheerfully greeted the legionnaires. To Private Telk, he said, “ Ah, I see you ’ ve noticed Hargundu! And Hargundu has noticed you. It ’ s a match made in Heaven. I ’ ll sell Hargundu to you cheap. Hargundu has prior Legion experience, and likes to carry heavy loads. Hargundu is a war camel, don ’ t you know! ”
    “Yeah, with my luck, that camel’s probably psycho, and you’re just trying to unload him on some unsuspecting schmuck!”
    “No, I assure you!” exclaimed Big Al a bit too emphatically.
    “ I don ’ t want no used camel, ” scoffed Private Telk, trying to keep up with the patrol . Al snagged his web gear with a claw , but Private Telk shook him off . “ Let go! ”
    “ Hargundu is only slightly used,