Read Rain 01 When It Rains for Free Online Page B

high ponytail and rub some concealer under my eyes before applying foundation to the rest of my face. The last thing I want is all of my customers asking what’s wrong with me. It’s easier to act that it’s just another day.
    When I’m satisfied with how I look, I grab my keys and head out the door. Without even realizing what I’m doing, I stand with my eyes fixated on Beau’s house. I wonder what he’s doing right now. Does he miss Carrington yet? Does he like his new roommate?
    I can’t let myself dwell on it, though. It’s time to get in the car and face my new normal. It just sucks that my normal keeps getting more and more unpleasant. I once thought I had everything, but ever since that night I’ve been unhappy and alone. Beau has been my only exception for the past two years and now he’s gone.
    I’m lost.
    I really have no idea where my life goes from here. I want to say it can’t get any worse, but I’ve thought that before and there always seems to be a deeper hole to sink into. Some days I don’t even know if I can go on.
    What’s the point?
    When I pull into the parking lot behind the diner, I put the car in park and rest my forehead against the steering wheel. Just thinking about making it through the day alone makes it difficult to breathe. It’s like someone is constantly sitting on my chest.
    I take a few deep breaths, trying to get some air in my lungs to ease the panic, but I’m struggling to gain control. Sometimes it helps to close my eyes and imagine I’m sitting on the beach looking out onto the lake, but I’m so overwhelmed I can’t even bring myself to go there today. Not having control of my emotions is like being in a speeding car without brakes, or like a vice gripping my ribs and squeezing. I feel lost and desperate, and I have no idea when this is all going to stop.
    Maybe it never will.
    When I’m finally able to feel my hands again, I turn off the ignition and make my way inside. I clock in and wrap my black apron around my waist. It’s just before seven and the morning crowd will be filing in soon. Our town only has two restaurants and Bonnie’s is the only one open for breakfast. It’s usually full of farmers who come in to compare harvest notes or other locals looking to avoid their own kitchens. The work is easy, and a little mundane, but that’s all I can handle right now. There are three waitresses each morning, and we each take eight tables. I prefer the tables towards the front window because people tend to chat less when they’re staring out at the passersby.
    I spot my usual group of retired farmers at the table closest to the door. They love to come in right at seven in the morning and stick around until well after nine. I don’t mind them because they can go on and on about the current price of corn and don’t ask for much as long as I keep their coffee cups full. There are four of them, and they always order the same thing for breakfast every morning. I can honestly say there are some days I don’t speak one word to them for the entire two hours they’re here.
    “Hey, you, I didn’t even see you come in,” my mom says, wrapping her arms around my waist. I lean my head on her shoulder, taking in the familiar scent of her perfume. She’s been wearing the same kind since I can remember and it always soothes me. It brings me back to a time when everything was okay and all I had to think about was which pink dress to wear that day.
    “I was running a little late, so I went straight to my tables,” I say, lifting my head to peek out to the dining room to make sure my customers are taken care of. “It’s nice and quiet today.”
    “You could probably go home if you wanted to. We can handle this.” She lets go of my waist and begins brewing a fresh pot of coffee.
    I ponder the idea of going home, but I know if I do I won’t be able to keep myself from feeling. I’d just lock myself in my room and cry until my eyes were swollen. At least when I’m