rightly remember, but right now it's
hurting all over."
"Here, help yourself to another escalope. Would you
like me to slice it for you?"
"No, leave it. I'll do it myself."
"I feel embarrassed to tell you, but... last night I
dreamed about you. You were riding on a white horse,
with a sword in your hand..."
"You were dreaming about St Martin..."
"No, seriously. You were riding naked."
"Bareskin?"
"Yes, bare to the balls..."
"Bareskin, I'm telling you, and mounted bareback."
"Oh, all right, I'm sorry! Look what you're making
me say..." she blushed. "You were riding this horse
stark naked, sword in hand. And the sword and your...
well... prick, and the horse's neck, everything was full of
nerves and veins... I swear I woke up at that point..."
"Have you always had erotic dreams?"
"No. The night before last I dreamed I went windowshopping. I went crazy looking in those shop windows,
and I went into a boutique and bought a heap of clothes
and then I went to a hairdresser and had highlights put
in my hair."
There was a silence while Rosa gazed at him.
"Are you certain nothing has happened?"
Maria shook his head and Rosa didn't persist. They
had maintained their conversation while keeping an eye
on the Chiche Gelblung programme, to spot whether
the dwarf put in an appearance. But the presenter had
moved on to another category of deformities by now,
one in which there was no chance that dwarfs might
be included, even though the dwarf was still being
trailed at every commercial break. Before the final
section, when he was due to sign off, Gelblung started
to apologize for the fact that his time had run out, and
to promise a special programme the next day, entirely
dedicated to the smallest man in the world. But Rosa
became annoyed and switched off the television before
Gelblung finished making his promises, and went to sit
on Maria's lap. She threw her arms around his neck.
"Do you know what I like best of all about you?" she
asked him.
Maria shook his head.
"You seem such a mystery. So quiet... It's as though
you're always keeping something back..."
She moved to kiss him on the lips. But less than an
inch before touching him, she paused, stopping in midair as if frozen, her pupils open wide, and her eyes fixed
on the street outside.
"What's up?" asked Maria.
Rosa shut him up with a rapid "shshsh".
She jumped down from his lap and ran to the window.
"Oh my God!"
"What's up?"
"It's the Senor and Senora! They're opening the
door! Mother of God! Now what do I do? If they catch
you here they'll flay me alive!"
Maria went over to look out of the window. Rosa was
right: a man was stooped over the door lock, trying to
insert a key. Beside him stood a woman. The woman
was just about to ring the bell.
"Listen to me and calm down, I know what we need
to do. Rosa, listen, and stay still a moment... breathe
deeply... I'll hide myself away here, behind the dresser.
You open up to them, they'll come inside, and I'll
take the keys and leave, then push them back to you
through the grille by the garden gate. It's easy. Breathe
deeply, you need to be able to pretend with conviction.
If they notice you're nervous, they'll take you and shake
everything out of you, down to the dream you've just
told me. Breathe. That's it... Well done... Now I'll go
and hide and you go and open the door..."
"What about the dishes?" hissed Rosa.
"I'll sort that out; you open up. Do they usually come
into the kitchen first thing when they arrive?"
"They never arrive at the tradesmen's entrance. I
can't think what could have happened!"
"They must have lost the keys to the front door."
"Possibly... Oh my God, they were supposed to come
back next week!..."
"Do you see? That tornado you were talking about
must have struck..."
The bell went on ringing, ever more insistently. Maria
pushed Rosa towards the door. Then he grabbed his
plate and shoved it into the dishwasher, and hid himself
behind