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walked and at least three cameras pointed directly at our marks on the floor.
    “Good God,” Ryder breathed when I arrived, pulling me from my distracted perusal and staring at my chest unabashedly. Naively, I’d thought he was awed by the first day jitters too, but the direction of his eyes wasn’t exactly promising.
    “Thank fuck this show is about kinks.”
    Anddd neither were those words.
    “What? Why?” I asked as I tried in vain to stand at an angle that didn’t give him such a good view but not appear needlessly rude.
    He chuckled and leaned dangerously closer. “Because if I’m going to have a boner from thinking about licking your tits all the time, at least I can blame it on my role.”
    Um . . . what?
    His eyebrows popped upward just once, but it was enough to confirm the dishonorable intentions his words suggested.
    Well.
    I should have smoked another fucking cigarette this morning. That much was becoming clear.
    I wasn’t normally opposed to some brutal dirty talk, but this guy was a fucking stranger. And my coworker. Him saying that to me at this stage in the game was about as appropriate as wearing nothing but a ball sling to the Oscars.
    “Excuse me?” I asked, impressed I managed to say anything at all. I’d never had any stranger tell me any part of my body was something he’d like to snack on. I mean, I’d had a few scenarios run through my fantasies, but trust me, none of them went like this.
    “Your tits,” he said slowly—the jackass—as though maybe I hadn’t heard him.
    Right. Because that was the problem.
    He raised one too-well manicured eyebrow. “Look fucking edible.”
    Don’t kick him in the balls. Do not kick him in the balls.
    “You know that I’m not a whore, right? That I’m an actor?” I lowered my voice, speaking through tightly clenched teeth. “No matter the subject matter, this is a professional setting, and speaking to me like that is in no way appropriate.”
    “You’re an uptight bitch,” he murmured fake-thoughtfully, rubbing the line of his chin with his thumb and forefinger. “Got it.”
    Anger flooded my veins, but before I could cold clock the asshole, the director called for our attention.
    “Listen up, people!”
    As everyone huddled up closer, I made sure to shuffle my feet away from Ryder.
    “Big show today. As the first show, this is the one we have to make count. This is the one that the network will use to determine whether or not we have jobs for more than a week.”
    Sandy blond hair sat ruffled atop his head and peppered with gray, and a week’s worth of stubble coated the skin of his cheeks. His nose was slightly crooked, his clothes equally askew, but he had a kindness in his eyes. He seemed kind of like a good-natured but out-of-touch-with-cool dad, from his slightly rounded belly all the way down to the white sneakers on his feet.
    Turning directly to me, he introduced himself, shoving one meaty hand out for a shake. “Easie, I’m Howie. I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to meet before now. But I’ve heard a lot about you.”
    Grrreeaaat.
    My thoughts must have been painted all over my face because a smirk settled onto his. “ Good things.”
    At the skeptical rise of my brow, he burst out laughing. Murmurs took hold around us as people tried to figure out what was going on, but I didn’t let it bother me. Instead, I focused on his genuine smile and began to relax for the first time today. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a terrible experience after all. Maybe there was opportunity to really enjoy myself on this show.
    “Mike, Abby,” he called, turning to address the real life clown-sexers, “I want to thank you for being here and letting us do a piece on your story.”
    They both nodded bashfully, surprisingly shy and normal looking compared to what I expected. Though, I guess the whole thing about kinks is that people normally keep them a secret.
    “We’re going to be taking a few liberties and dramatizing a few things