my new cat when I took a step in his direction. “Motherfucker waited for me to whip it out to piss before he lunged at me!”
Mr. Bojangles shook in my arms as I tried to soothe him. “I’m sure you’re overreacting. Poor baby, he’s terrified,” I exclaimed as I cooed and petted his fluffy orange head.
“He’s terrified? I’m scarred for life! I almost had my favorite body part maimed by a fucking feral devil cat!”
“He’s not feral!” I lifted Mr. Bojangles up and rubbed my cheek against his head. His purr rumbled through his whole body as I hugged him, and he lifted his head to bump my chin, looking for more affection. “He’s sweet. I told you he’s just skittish. It’ll take him a little while to get used to living here.”
“What the hell do you mean, living here?”
“He’s my new cat,” I answered.
Trevor stared at me like I belonged in a mental hospital. His expression was that of utter disbelief. His blue gaze darted from me to the fluffy guy curled up in my arms before they narrowed menacingly. He and Mr. Bojangles seemed to be in some kind of stare-off for several seconds before Trevor finally lifted his chin and addressed me.
“That’s not a cat. That’s a furry bowling ball!”
“Don’t say that!” I scolded seriously. “You’ll give him a complex.”
His mouth opened and closed several times before he was finally able to form a sentence.
“It’s me or the cat.”
I couldn’t help it; the minute those words came out of his mouth, I busted out laughing. “Are you serious right now?”
“As a goddamned heart attack, Lizzy. That thing’s looking at me like he’s just waiting to murder me in my sleep.”
“That thing has a name. And he’s not going to kill you. You just need to give him a chance to adjust.”
“What kind of girly-ass, pussy name is Mr. Bojangles anyway? I’m not calling him that! Like I said, you have to choose. Me, your husband , or Satan’s minion.”
I started laughing again. Not caring for how my body was shaking hysterically, Mr. Bojangles jumped from my arms, landing on the floor about two feet from Trevor. The two of them stood still, in some sort of twisted standoff before Mr. Bojangles finally grew tired of Trevor’s dramatics and sauntered from the living room.
“I’m not getting rid of the cat, Trevor. He’s sweet and cuddly and I love him.”
“GAH!” he threw his hands up. “You’re being completely unreasonable right now!”
“And you’re acting like a baby. Don’t you think you’re being a little ridiculous?”
Now it was my turned to be glared at. “I’m not talking to you when you’re like this,” Trevor informed me haughtily, his chin in the air as he looked down at me like I was the one being irrational. It was just a cat, for Christ’s sake!
Before I had a chance to respond, he turned on his heels and stomped up the stairs. The asshole actually had the nerve to storm out of the room all pissed off. I stood in the middle of the living room, looking up the stairs in shock as a door slammed from somewhere above me.
So much for my attempted seduction. I was officially being given the silent treatment.
If I hadn’t seen the telltale bulge in his boxer briefs this morning, I’d have sworn I was married to a woman.
I woke feeling like I was in a furnace. It felt like the heat had been cranked up in my house, and the stifling atmosphere had pulled me from my pleasant dreams. It wasn’t until I shifted to kick the covers from my body that I realized the source of the uncomfortable heat.
“Trevor!” I let out a startled yelp. I tried to shift from his hold, but his arms were like steel bands wrapped around my midsection, holding my back flush to his chest. “What the hell are you doing in my bed?”
He didn’t respond, just simply let out a sleepy moan and rubbed his groin against my behind. Yep, morning wood…so not ideal!
“Trevor!” I whisper-yelled, this time shoving my elbow into his