Read Punching Tom Hanks: Dropkicking Gorillas and Pummeling Zombified Ex-Presidents---A Guide to Beating Up Anything for Free Online Page B

popular, drive toward a person and then hit them with the open driver’s side door. Less fatal, but still effective, he could adjust the windshield wiper fluid nozzle so that it squirts you in the eyeballs. That may sound like a joke, but that distraction might be all he needs to jump out the open car window Dukes of Hazzard -style and start taking you apart. Is he holding the cigarette lighter and trying to stab you in the cheek with it? It’s possible. You better hope you can spit on it accurately enough to put it out. And do it while under a serious amount of pressure. Like a safecracker.
    He could also use the car to flee the fight, if things start to go against him. If he suddenly runs to the car, fumbles, drops the keys while trying to unlock it, then drives off—that’s probably what happened. Of course, if he received a phone call just prior to this, frantically asked the person on the phone, “Is Mr. Jeepers okay?” and THEN drove off, it’s probably less to do with you and more to do with something awful befalling his pet.
    Wait for his crew to enter the bank. Then get him away from the car, either by approaching him when he’s outside the car or by grabbing his monogrammed bank robber’s jacket from the backseat and running someplace he can’t follow in a car. A third option is to approach him and inform him that he’s won “A brand new car!” in a contest, and that you’d like to take him to it right away. You definitely want to think up the name of the made-up contest before approaching him. Do not fool yourself into thinking, “Hey, I’m a pretty funny guy, I’m fast on my feet, I’ll just ad-lib something if he asks me.” He will ask you. You don’t want the following happening.
    YOU: “Congratulations! You just won a car in our contest! Allow me to bring you to it, right down this dark alley.”
    HIM: “What contest?”
    YOU: “ Uhhhh … It’s … Whoa! What’s with all the questions?!? I mean it’s called Contest … Car. Car Contest. Winning … for … Winning. Look, do you want it or not?”
    Try to get closer to this exchange:
    YOU: “Congratulations! You just won a car in our contest! Allow me to bring you to it, right down Winner’s Alley.”
    HIM: “What contest?”
    YOU: “The Official Government Rewards Clearinghouse Annual Contest!”
    HIM: “What kind of car?”
    YOU: Uhhhh … Shit. What’s with all the questions?!?”
    Do you see how the second one is better?
    As soon as the car is out of play, take the fight to him. He’s not used to hand-to-hand combat, and there’s a good chance you can intimidate him with your directness. He’s relied on having his gang there to back him up for far too long, and he’s gone soft as a result. Don’t worry about defense right now, just pour it all into laying him out. I’m guessing you’re looking at about thirty seconds before it’s done.
    This last step is optional, and quite risky, but if pulled off, is an absolute delight. Get into the driver’s car and drive to where he’s supposed to be waiting for his gang. When they come running out of the building lugging sacks of loot, smile at them, then gun it the fuck out of there. It’s going to feel awesome.
    Perhaps you throw in a little middle finger action, here. Sure, it’s overdone and been co-opted by the lesser types a bit too much for my liking. But hell, if this isn’t the moment for it I don’t know what is. I mean, you’re gunning a stolen car down the street, away from a gang of bank robbers whose wheelman you just left for dead in an alley! Treat yourself! They could start shooting, but you’ve probably got a few seconds since their hands are occupied with the bags. Just don’t stall the car out and you’ll be fine. If it works, and you’re able to burn rubber while flipping them off and yelling triumphantly, you might want to think about getting an image of it tattooed onto your chest. Others will want to see this. The story alone will not do