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racist bunch, not in public but within their own walls…” Chloe added to her statement. 
    I couldn’t believe it, was Mark ashamed to be seen with me because of a bunch of racists he now considered friends? I couldn’t understand, I wouldn’t understand. All I could carry around with me all day after hearing it was a bundle of anger ready to burst, my body shaking with rage as I entered our room and waited for Mark to return – if he ever did. 
    All this time I thought he was cheating on me, I thought he was falling out of love with me or getting into the party lifestyle and discarding me but it turns out his new ‘brothers’ are just a bunch of racists and he was going along with the white crew playing their little games. I bet they didn’t even know about me, I bet he was all locker room talk to them about the pretty white sorority girls and told them exactly what he’d want to do. How long before he ditched me completely? How long before he stopped pretending to not be with me and decide not to be for good? I couldn’t stop myself from feeling so heated, feeling so mad at him. 
    As time moved on I realized he wasn’t coming home, back to his girlfriend in the room. The thought of him out there partying with a bunch of racists angered me so much; I stormed back out onto campus and followed the path all the way to their big, arrogant doors. Music and lights came flying at me as I opened up to the middle of a party. Blonde bunnies and beer kegs littered the floor and hovered over every guy. Mark wasn’t anywhere to be found, though. 
    I took the spiral staircase to the second floor where the party raged on, pushing past everything white person that stood in my way, I’d never felt like this before; I’d never had a problem with my skin before. It wasn’t even a concern, It wasn’t anywhere in my mind. I just saw us as people, all of us as people that are equal and I thought Mark did, too. I could feel myself getting more and more worked up. Finally reaching the end of the hall I decided to take the risk of checking the rooms. 
    I burst through the first door to see him. He was laying in bed with his eyes shut tight, a mountain of empty cans next to him and thankfully no one else to be seen. It looked like he’d drunk himself into a state of un-dead as he groaned when the lights went on. I didn’t care if this wasn’t the perfect time. This was the only time, I needed to know where I stood. 
    “Nickie, what are you-” I wasn’t giving him a chance to finish, I couldn’t; I was relieved to find him alone but I was still so furious about everything.
    “I know about this house, about why you didn’t want me to meet your friends.” Even though there must have been a few hundred people making noise - suddenly the room felt like you could hear a pin drop.
    As he rubbed his eyes and came to, he shifted his body so that his feet touched the ground, dragging himself away from the comfort of the sheets. He stood in bare briefs in front of me with writing all over his body saying ‘pledge,’ it looked like he was officially one of them now. I didn’t get why he’d put himself in the same group of people that hated me for something as simple as my skin color, I couldn’t understand it and I wouldn’t understand it. 
    “It’s not like that, you think I really care about what these guys think?”
    “Well, what’s the reason then, Mark? Why have you been keeping me out of your life?” I could feel myself getting more and more worked up, I just wanted an answer, any answer. 
    “I’ve been doing this to make my dad happy, I hate it here.”
    I can’t say that was the response I was expecting.
    “I hate all of this and that’s why I’ve kept you away from it. Now that I’m in I don’t really have to do much except show my face and use my family name at events. That’s all. I love you.” 
    That’s when he kissed me, the kind of kiss that wants to knock you on your ass and drains you of