Read Priestley Plays Four for Free Online Page A

me.
    MALGRIM:
(Gravely.)
Sam and I must go to Peradore.
    CAPT. P.: Been closed for years, old boy, if it’s the place I think you mean. Anyhow, you wouldn’t try and ditch Good Old Skip Plunket, would you?
    MALGRIM: Yes.
    CAPT. P.:
(Linking himself with SAM.)
Can’t be done, old boy. Sam and I are up to our necks in a custard powder deal and a Portuguese lighthouse. If you want to try the old Peradore, I’m game, though ten to one we’ll end up in the Troc, but where Sam goes – I go.
    MALGRIM:
(Sharply.)
Then take the consequences.
    CAPT. P.: Old Skip Plunket is always ready –
    MALGRIM:
(Commandingly.) Silence!
    He waves his hand and the stage darkens. A lute is heard faintly. He waves a hand at the panelled wall, which opens. MALGRIM stands at the opening, waving them in
.
    Gentlemen – welcome to Peradore!
    We hear the rushing wind sound as all three move in, the light fades here, the panelling is closed, and light comes up in the private bar. The BARMAID, who has fainted across bar counter, now slowly recovers. ANNE DUTTON-SWIFT and PHILIP SPENCER-SMITH, both keen and brisk, enter
.
    ANNE:
(Brightly.)
Good-morning!
    PHILIP:
(Brightly.)
Good-morning!
    BARMAID:
(Faintly, with an effort.)
’Morning. Turned-out – nice – again –
    ANNE:
(Smiling, brightly.)
We’re looking for a friend of ours –
    PHILIP:
(Same.)
He said he was coming along here –
    ANNE: Mr Sam Penty.
    PHILIP: Have you seen him this morning?
    BARMAID:
(With an effort.)
Yes. ’E’s bin in.
    PHILIP:
(Brightly.)
Oh – jolly good!
    ANNE:
(Brightly.)
But what’s happened to him?
    BARMAID:
(Faintly, with an effort.)
Come closer. Just ’ad a nasty turn.
    PHILIP:
(Brightly, closer.)
Oh – rotten luck!
    ANNE:
(Closer.)
Don’t force yourself.
    BARMAID:
(As before.)
I’ll ’ave to. ’Im an’ two other crackpots went off together – something about a princess – in a Portuguese lighthouse – with six fingers for Swiss watches –
    PHILIP: Sorry, but you’re not making this awfully clear –
    ANNE: But don’t worry – just tell us
where
they went –
    BARMAID:
(Pointing feebly at panelling.)
Through the wall.
    She collapses as light fades and we hear the sound of the electric drill again
.
SCENE FIVE
    Room in advertising agency again. As before. Pneumatic drill is still heard. DIMMOCK is discovered trying to talk at telephone. He has a glass of milk and some sandwiches at his elbow. He looks very worried
.
    DIMMOCK:
(Into telephone, shouting above drill.)
…They showed me a lay-out this morning – but I said it wasn’t good enough – dead wrong for your products – not properly aimed at the Chunky Chat public – I say –
(Here the drill stops abruptly, so he goes on shouting.)
Not properly aimed at your Chunky Chat public… I’m sorry – there’s a damned drill keeps starting up here… Well, we’ll try to have something to show you by the end of the week – ’Bye.
    Puts down telephone. Drinks a little milk and begins nibbling sandwich, all in an abstracted worried way. After a moment or two, a large brown rat pops out of the cupboard, far enough to be seen but keeping close. Then, as DIMMOCK sees it and rises in horror, we hear the sound of MARLAGRAM’s ‘he-he-he’ laugh. Furious, DIMMOCK hurls a notebook or pad at it and misses. We hear the ‘he-he-he’ again, and rat goes back into the cupboard
.
    DIMMOCK:
(Into intercom, controlling his fury.)
Peggy, come in.
(He stands up again, tries to eat more sandwich but finds it distasteful, perhaps tries another. PEGGY enters.)
Peggy, we’ve got rats here.
    PEGGY: I’ve tried to tell you that, Mr Dimmock. I could name two of them – downright disloyal to the firm –
    DIMMOCK: No, I mean real rats. I’ve just seen one. Came out of that cupboard. A big fat brown rat – cheeky as hell. He stood there – laughing at me. What do you think of that?
    PEGGY:
(Earnestly.)
I think you ought to go home, Mr Dimmock.
    DIMMOCK: Go home? What are you talking