Read Playing Keira for Free Online

for you, or being so uncommitted to it that you can’t decide on a path.”
    “It’s all just wishful thinking, isn’t it?” I say, trying not to let any of my cynicism peek through. “We have to dream about something.”
    “You think there’s a difference between dreams and plans, and the two can never overlap?”
    “I think there’s a line where you’re outside the bounds of reality. Then you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.”
    Suddenly, there’s a loud honk and a hand grabbing my arm and someone shouting, “ Keira! ”
    Garrett pulls me back toward the curb. The car that I’ve almost walked right in front of slows as it passes, the driver scowling at me.
    “You okay?” asks Garrett.
    Blood is pounding in my ears but I can still hear it. Keira! Garrett had shouted my name. My real name.
    I look at him now, at the guilty expression on his face, the hunch of his head and shoulders as if he’s waiting for the blow.
    “You called me Keira,” I say.
    “I’m sorry,” he says, wincing.
    “You know who I really am.” I try to think of something else to add here, because maybe if I keep talking, keep stating the obvious, I won’t feel the wave of total mortification that’s about to crash down on me.
    “I do,” he says. “When you stepped off the curb, it just came out.”
    “How long have you known?”
    “Since the first minute I was on the bus with you.”
    I step away from him and lean my forehead against the brick wall of the building on the corner. It’s dirty, but so, so solid. It’s seen it all. It doesn’t judge me.
    “I am really, really sorry,” I say. “If you could just leave now, maybe I won’t need to shrivel up in shame.”
    Garrett actually laughs. “I’m sorry too. I should have said something right away . . . but I was so surprised when you told me your name was Rayanne, I wasn’t thinking.”
    He pauses, and I don’t move. The brick is cool. I can feel its texture pressing a pattern into my skin. It’s going to look weird when I finally break free of this position. Now, the sensation of Garrett’s hand on my shoulder. The fire inside me races toward that spot, neurons dancing.
    I don’t want to be mortified. I want to be angry. I brush off his hand, but don’t look at him.
    “So, you know the films.”
    “Seen them both. And I sat two tables over from you and your dad at the Bistro last year; I recognized you then and I recognized you now.”
    “You should have said something when you introduced yourself,” I say into the wall.
    “I know. But when? My window vanished after, like, five seconds. And then it seemed like you really needed to be Rayanne, and I thought about it and I understood, and I figured, what’s the harm?”
    “The harm?” I turn around now. I can commit to this anger. “The harm is that you mentioned the films and even encouraged me to hang out with you to see how many more lies I could come up with. Plus, it’s just creepy.” Something occurs to me. “This is going to make a great story, isn’t it? For the Signet . You could win some major student-journalism awards with it.”
    “I have no desire to write about this, Keira. And yes, it’s creepy, but it wasn’t on purpose. Really.”
    “Mary-Kate is a real person?”
    Garrett laughs again. “Yes.”
    “She’s really your girlfriend?”
    He pauses now, and I glance at him. His face is more serious. “Yes, she’s my girlfriend. I’m not sure for how much longer, but I told you the truth about everything with her.”
    “Unlike me.”
    “I told you, I understood.”
    I have to get out of this situation. I did not escape from one really screwed-up scenario just to find myself in another. This is why I don’t let my guard down. This is why the Ice Queen is the way to go, always.
    “Well, it was nice being completely humiliated by you, Garrett,” I say, offering my hand for him to shake. “Have fun with your soon-to-be ex.”
    I start to cross the street