two things—the toilet and the vagina during sex.” She looked at Troy. “And that’s it.”
“I know, Sister Glover, and we’ve talked about this before, but it’s easier said than done,” one of the younger sisters comforting Sister Oliver declared. “How am I supposed to keep my husband from cheating on me, if I can’t even keep him happy in the bedroom?”
“And what about us single sisters? What are we supposed to do?” asked Kiona, a younger member who’d, on account of her outspokenness, long been on Myrtle’s list of people to vote out of the organization. “I’m a proud Virtuous Woman and I know we don’t have sex before marriage or masturbate, but it’s hard. I have needs. ”
“Sisters in Christ, let us not confuse worldly desires with Christian needs,” Myrtle warned sternly. “These vile and deviant behaviors of which you speak are proof of the weakness of the flesh.”
Everyone, including a salty-mouthed Troy, nodded in dreaded agreement. Troy looked at Myrtle and it seemed as if steam was billowing from her ears.
“The Bible tells us that the flesh is lustful and if you live after it, you shall die!” Myrtle added.
“That’s in the Word,” another sister said, opening Troy’s Bible to a verse in the Book of Romans and pointing to it for Troy.
Troy nodded along and sank farther into her seat. She’d been struggling with all of these ideas, these rules of religious order and sainthood, since she’d accepted Kyle’s offer of love and realized that being with a leader of men of God also meant loving his church and living that life. More often than not, she’d failed, fallen super short of what the people around her said she needed to be to wear the First Lady crown. And what made it worse was that it seemed that no matter how she went about the thing, no matter what she did, she still couldn’t seem to get saved—to hear the voice of God in the way the other people in the congregation claimed she would when and if she’d been chosen. This distinction, while small in any other circle, and in a few other churches, was the ax splitting Troy from really being accepted in the church. Sadly, it allowed members to question the pastor’s choice in selecting an “unsaved” mate who wasn’t “equally yoked” in the Lord.
“And if you should fall, my sisters, there are demons waiting to fall with you,” Myrtle went on.
“The incubus and the succubus!” cried Sister Oliver. “Demons!”
Troy’s ears perked up and her eyes widened. She’d been listening to Myrtle’s weekly warnings at each prayer meeting.
“That’s right,” confirmed Myrtle, “the demons of sexual perversion that will come into your bed and have sex with you…and your spouse! Sisters in Christ, you’d better beware.”
Something in Troy’s stomach twisted and gave way. She felt full and then ill, like something rotten was growing in her gut. She kept imagining Kyle standing naked, oiled and with the little silver ring around his penis. Had the demons been in her bedroom? Were they having sex with her and her husband? It sounded unreal, ridiculous, crazy to consider, but the women before her knew the Word, and one was sitting beside her thumping on pages of the Bible, confirming what they were saying was real.
“I need to use the bathroom,” Troy said, jumping up from the table in the middle of Myrtle’s continuing tirade. She saw the woman roll her eyes exaggeratedly. She felt pressure pushing through her pelvis and leaning on her bladder.
“But I was about to start the closing prayer,” Myrtle warned. Everyone looked at Troy expectantly. She couldn’t leave and miss the prayer.
“Okay,” Troy said, squeezing her thighs tightly like a schoolgirl and getting back into her seat. She sat back and heard, at length, what remained of Myrtle’s speech about the incubus and the succubus. The prayer wouldn’t come for ten more minutes.
The Virtuous Women of First Baptist weren’t
Marina von Neumann Whitman